And then you grew up and someone said, ‘Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus’ and thus was born a best seller and associated stereotypes. Now, I have somehow not got around to reading this book, its not because my intellectual sensibilities (I don’t have all such qualms) holler, it somehow never happened. Like they say when the intent is lacking then the universe doesn’t conspire after all, as a reverse Alchemist thought. (And I shudder to think I am quoting the Alchemist!)
Okay, before I get into this messy loop of trying to explain things, let me get back to the original thought. I am these days encountering the phrase a little too often from some of my male friends which go, ‘All you women, na…’ Not to be fooled for a bit, those hanging three dots suspended in mid air communicate a wealth of meaning, or intended to at least.
Now, like someone who believes in some healthy male bashing (I mean they do say that there is no, ‘Smoke without fire’, so god knows all of this bashing is in fact justified even! And please it’s so cathartic, and besides it makes no difference to the men anyway), I am also equally generous with women who perpetuate the myth of women as complex, convoluted creatures… I don’t subscribe to discriminatory form of hatred you see.
But wait, I don’t think we women are complex. No sir, not at all. At least we are not complex in the way men think that we are… Complex is defined as – “having so interconnected parts that make it perplexing.” Now, this notion of made of many parts is all very nice, goes very well with the I am a complete multi-dimensional personality. But perplexing? Who we?
Hmmm, now as an average type woman I am more than happy if men think of me as somewhat enigmatic, you know an almost ethereal type persona. I can live with that sort of thing you know. That type of complex is okay.
But perplexing? Incomprehensible? Convoluted? No, no!
In fact, I would stick my neck out and say that we are actually very simple, nice people. Some of us have some happy type quirks, but surely that can’t make us complex....
I do think there are some women who are ‘not very nice people’, but then there are perhaps an equal (if not many many more) number of men, who are worse. Bad people are just bad, that doesn’t make them complex. By calling them complex we are being nice to them. Bad as a notion in fact is the simplest to understand, goodness on the other hand can be complex. I mean being bad can result in material/ emotional type gains, being good sadly seem like naiveté or such like stuff!
...Some women play games, but that’s only because some man let them have the power to do that. You know little little things:
1. Oh I shall not let you hold my hands, but sulk if you actually don’t – that’s the, ‘You make the move and I shall make you feel like a rapist. And you don’t make the move then I shall decide that you don’t care Game'
2. Hey thanks for asking me out for coffee, but you know, lets see, I will SMS you, that’s the, ‘You-don’t-call-me-I-will-call-you-game’
3. Oh I would like us to remain friends even though I abhor you as a boyfriend. That’s the, ‘Having-my-cake-and-eating-it-too-game’. A variant of it could also be, ‘The-wait-and-watch-if-I-can-do-better-game’ or ‘The-let-him-down-gently-game’
And of course there are many more. Surely, playing a sport can’t make us complex. In fact, sports of all form ought to be encouraged. In much the same way that men play golf and watch F1, some women choose to be sporty and play some games....Men will say that women never give straight answers, or that there is more than one interpretation to what they are saying, and hence they are complex. Not true, in fact there is only ONE meaning for everything that we say. Just that some men choose not to understand, or that they give too much credit to women!
Sample conversation
Man: Hey, want to catch a movie this weekend?
Woman: Not sure. It actually depends. I mean I would love to, but I need to check with SRT about the writer’s club meet. And I need to do the laundry. Oh, and what happened to your girlfriend, not in town? Oh, but I so want to see the movie.
Man: So, not this weekend, eh?!
Woman: Why you don’t want to see the movie with me after all?
Man: *Gosh, these women, so complex!*
Now, feel pity for poor woman – she of course wants to make it for the movie but there is moron SRT to be taken care of, there is potential guilt about being potential other woman. And may be she doesn’t want to. And may be the guy she ‘really’ likes will ask her out over the weekend. And didn’t that self-help book tell you that always let the man chase? May be she will do a girl’s weekend out, such endless possibilities. All questions can’t have either a “yes” or “no” for an answer right? I mean who says life is B&W; it’s all about 70 mm colour, with myriad hues and emotions
…And so I come back to the original question: Are men from Mars?Are women from Venus?
If they are, then I have some further questions:
...So why are we all on Earth?
...How soon before we get sent back to our planets?
...Who will send us back?
...What will be our mode of transportation?
...What happens to the ones who don’t want to go back? Can there be an alternative planet for them?
...What happens to all the wealth and resources in planet earth? Do the Martians and Venusians wage a war over it?
...Is it some kind of male conspiracy that one keeps hearing of all these Mars expeditions happen and nobody goes to check out Venus?
Nobody it seems has any kind of plan… Worrying it all is.
And then there is the classic paradox of, ‘Causes much too grief BUT can’t do without’, and hence the necessary evil of our co-existence in this planet. So, we shall all be loving, caring, share our lives with each other types. And on the way, we will just stick to stereotypes, sweeping generalizations, plans to nuke the other half and other such simple pleasures.
Believing something or somebody as being complex it would seem, is the simplest explanation for most things. On that note and feeling minorly militant feminist like and celebrating womanhood type I shall quote a few lines from, ‘Phenomenal Women – Maya Angelou’
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump abou
tOr have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
_____________________________________
quoted from primalsoup - www.bonniebluebutler.blogspot.com
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