why do someone always seem to burst

my little bubble of happiness before school actually starts?

pop.

*

in the morning, someone went to burst my bubble,

unfortunately, it was done unknowingly. what was it?

someone told me ;

i have sec one band to go, 'cause i'm the friggin' on probation percussion sl.

wen theng was going to the doctor so i had to go.

it can't be possible that both probation sls ran away from band.

that's really nice. hoho.

*

cut the crap. i'll go on to how much i agree with lyn.

she know what she said?

haha. this is really on the girl's side

& not to mention sounds really bitchy.

sorry guys. hahas!

this was what i concluded from our little 'talk' ;

guys have too much pride.

they have to find a date on valentines' day

'cause they carnt bear to be rendered dateless.

and they can't bear to be seen without a girlfriend

or worse, without a flower. ahahahas.

that was the shocking thing.

okay!

then they go to an extent that disgust people.

yeah. i don't wanna talk about it.

er, this didn't happen to me, so don't worry. ahahas.

[i didn't have to be stuck with a guy complaining he hasn't got a girlfriend and

see him resort to... er. THAT. -looks above-]

*

ugh!

i spent my day in a daze. i was counting letters on my worksheets.

like since when did i act SO retarded? -knocks own head-

i was bored, i am bored. -yawn-

*

i really think i'm in a dream.

i accidentally fell asleep for twenty minutes.

suddenly, i woke up and i was in the toilet, bathing.

i didn't bring any clothes in,

so i had to go out in my towel. yuck.

changed.

then my mom started yaddering away,

saying how unthankful i was.

seriously, i was lost.

i was confused.

i didn't know what she was talking about.

i'm dazed.

yes i am.

.

out.

i don't know why, i was hit by this song today.

i just kept humming and singing it to myself.

as i said, i was in a daze.

total defence day sucked totally.

they burned this like fake fire outside MY classroom,

after assembly it totally stinked up my classroom.

like helloes.

air pollution...

we really felt they are attempting to gas us to death or smth.

tsk.

total defence day - this year. lame. lame. lame.

i despise the act done up by sjab.

let's go back to the song.

i end with the song ... [look above]

*

simpleplan.i'mjustakid

I woke up it was seven
I waited 'till eleven
Just to figure out that no one would call
I think I got a lot of friends
But I don't hear from them
What's another night all alone
When you're spending everyday on your own
.

And here it goes
I'm just a kid
And life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid
I know that it's not fair
Nobody cares 'cause I'm alone and the world is
Having more fun than me
Tonight

.
And maybe when the night is dead
I'll crawl into my bed
I'm staring at these four walls again
I'll try to think about the last time
I had a good time
Everyone's got somewhere to go
And they're gonna leave me here on my own
.

And here it goes
I'm just a kid
And life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid
I know that it's not fair
Nobody cares 'cuz I'm alone and the world is
Having more fun than me
.

What the hell is wrong with me?
Don't fit in with anybody
How did this happen to me?
Wide awake I'm bored and I can't fall asleep
And every night is the worst night ever
.

I'm just a kid
I'm just a kid
I'm just a kid (I'm just a kid)
Yeah, I'm just a kid
I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid I know that it's not fair
Nobody cares 'cause
I'm alone and the world is
Nobody wants to be alone in the world
I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid I know that its not fair
Nobody cares 'cause
I'm alone and the world is
Nobody wants to be alone in the world
Nobody cares 'cuz I'm alone and the world is
Having more fun than me
Tonight I'm all alone
Tonight nobody cares
Tonight cause I'm just a kid tonight

.

i really feel what's the song saying.

yes.

i'm feel so alone.

happy valentines' day!

*

how fun.

seriously.

my clique was going to visit lin lao shi after school at her house to bai nian.

i wasn't going. argh.

well, actuallie, i didn't really want to, 'cause it's weird yaas.

okay, enough about that.

went on a group date. ahaha.

cheryl and ii have been rendered dateless.

not to mention, jeralyn has sectionals.

whadd great timing.

went to meet them at orchard mrt - 2.45pm.

i reached there at 2.36pm.

everyone was late.

the first one came at 2.51p.m, how early.

the second, 2.56p.m

third, 3.21p.m

fourth, 3.25p.m

and the movie starts at 3.30pm.

whoaa.

went to watch i do i do.

it's so funny. hahas. and i never laughed so loud in the cinema before.

reallie!

marcus came after the movie and nicholas left.

yeah okayys.

went to walk (alot) around. goodness. it was done aimlessly

but i didn't mind, 'cause i refused to go home and i was bursting with energy.

heh.

so they chatted a lott. yes. sat down at yoshinoya.

made fun of cheryl's nose. -always. bwahaha

wait for marcus to finish eating.

walked to cine, walked to heeren then walked to cine again

yeahh yeah. orchard's getting boring.

marcus and ernest - acting weird.

jamin - mingling with cheryl and ii.

commenting every now and then that he always hangs around with girls.

ahahahas. pitiful him.

girls are horrors, nightmares, irrinnoyin and troublesome.

i admit so myself. (",) hee.

went coffee bean, sat for a while then left.

went home. took train to tp.

then jamin, cheryl and ii chatted at the escalator for a while.

then both of them started complaining that they were hungry and thirsty.
so we went to koufu and eat. yepps.
chatted somemore.
then we went home -separate ways.
took 73 with cheryll.
chatted with her somemore at the circus bus stop.
then we walkedd home.
yeah.
bountiful day?
nah.
i don't wanna go out tomorrow.
wanna slack at home.
no.
ah, whatever.

my mom didn't say anything after i went home.

she was in a super good mood. yupps.

gave me mos burger apple pie to eat somemore.

ahahas.

this is great.

*

my dad went for three business trips from the start of the year.

that's a lot.

compared to last time.

first it was germany,

then it was malaysia,

then now, for this whole week,

sydney.

erg.

*

-feels ...-

suddenly guys i don't even talk in church with are sms-ing me

happy valentines' day.

and they're younger than me.

yeah right.

and one not from church. hrmms.

weird.

search me.

guys are the weirdest.

mwaha!

*

`bittensmitten;

ahahas.

`listening: norahjones.feelslikehome album

i'm a changed person, yeah.

definitely.

i'm not mean.

i'm nice.

i do not shoot things out of my mouth.

i provide sympathy.

yes yes.

i wanna be a counsellor.

hahas. kidding.

*

okay.

i'm so annoyed and traumatized.

why are perverts all over the place?

-scratches head in confusion-

aha.

there had to be two at shaw plaza.

after service, after lunch.

we went up to the 3rd floor to buy this little 'thing' yes.

after we went out,

this disgusting guy with his friend was so obviously being pervertic.

i don't wanna describe it.

it's just plain mortifying.

not to mention, it wasn't the sneaky kind.

it was super obvious.

how nice.

yuack.

*

michelle forgot to bring my flower [vday present]

i was ignoring her. aha.

then she yelled so loudly.

embarrassing for her.

nyah nyah nyah.

we took pictures at mac's.

they were adorable.

while some were spastic.

aha.

oh yes, yesterday was a nice day.

of course it was!

it was the fyf reunion dinner.

before that, i went to j8 with jeralyn.

i bought a belt.

-applauds herself-

then went to church early to help out.

we got the job of.... -drumroll-

washing vegetables.

how nice.

it was quite fun laas.

she did the first round then throw it in my basin

then i wash the second round then DONE!

hahas.

housework and domestic stuff is fun to do actually.

i like doing it at home despite me having a maid.

it's just the self satisfaction thing again! nyahahas.

eh,eh,eh,eh.

who has the book - the da vinci code?

i read the synopsis.

i wanna read it.

please tag me if you have it and am willing to lend me.

haha.

i don't suppose any deyi-ans has it anyway.

so i appeal to church people & olgc peeps.

yep yep.

:))

1. what kind of first impression do you think people say when they first see you?
- you'd know, wouldnt you? and you wouldn't like to know me after that. haii. [read 11 and 26]
.
2. what's one thing you like to do alone? - think. about everything.
.
3. are you a giver or a taker?- a giver and taker! haha. i mean its not like i'm so static or something.
.
4. what have you stolen before? - even if i have ever stolen before i wouldnt tell you right?
.
5. how many drinks before you're tipsy? - i don't drink miister.
.
6. do you ever have to beg for sex? - firstly, don't be stupid. secondly, that is plain desperation
and thirdly, it just shows you can't find love anywhere. *pity
.
7. what kind of books do you like to read?- romantic novels. with a lot of action. i happen to like such movies too.
.
8. do you think you're cute? - oh don't be gross.. it'll be b.h.b thank you!
.
9. do you have a problem changing clothes in front of your friends?- if my friends are girls well no.
.
10. favorite communication method? - no pref. face to face probably.
.
11. do you care? - i do, but people think i dont because i like to pretend i dont. but i really do. really.
.
12. what do you eat when you raid the fridge at night? - icecream.
.
13. if you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done? - yuckk. i wouldn't like that.
.
14. do you know anyone famous? - maybe. aha. people famous - were just helplessly talent-spotted. so maybe they're just trying to get through their life without getting spotted as famous and there you go spoiling it. TSK.
.
15. describe your bed? - why should you care? it's mine.
.
16. spontaneous or planned? - depends on situation.
.
17. do you know how to play poker ? - yeah. um so.
.
18. what do you carry with you at all times? - wallet. handphone.
.
19. what do you miss most about being little?- being doted most on. freedom. all the harmless fun and no work at all. just play.
.
20. are you happy with your given name?- goodness knows how glad i am that my father is such a genius to give me the name i have. i love it! (: `quote zeslene.
.
21. how much would it take to give up the internet for 1 year? - as long you can entertain me for the whole year, i'll be off the net.
.
22. what color is your bedroom? - purple.
.
23. have you ever been in a play? - uh. if part of the acting no. but part of the whole thing yeah.
.
24. do you like yourself and believe in yourself? - no, i hate myself and i believe in God.
.
25. do homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you? - i know this is bad but yes
sometimes they annoy me loads. other times i really feel sorry for them
.
26. do you consider yourself to be a nice person? - i'm really a nice person. not a really nice person. you get the difference?
.
27. do you spend more time with your girlfriend/boyfriend or your friends? - i'm not close to gettin a boyfriend - but i love my girlfriends!
.
28. what's one thing you wish you could do but can't? - play the violin.
.
29. what is your ideal marriage location? - ay, don't talk about that.
.
30. what instrument did you wish you played? - flute
.
31. something you love and hate? - my ever so sordid life.
.
32. what's one language you want to learn? - i wouldn't use it anyway, why bother.
.
33. what do you order at a bar? - i wouldn't go there. tsk.
.
34. have you ever pierced your body parts? - beisdes my ears, nah.
.
35. do you have any tattoos? - nope. not going to. gross.
.
36. would you admit to getting plastic surgery if confronted? - no.
.
37. what traits you hate in a person? -the inability to amuse but tries too hard, it's annoying. too much sensitivity. humourless. always putting themselves down, expecting people to console them and put them up, that sorta thing. tsk tsk!
.
38. do you consider yourself materialistic? - almost.. but sometimes hardly.
.
39. what do you cook best? - cup noodles and sweet corn. aha.

brandy.haveyouever
have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry
have you ever needed somethin' so bad you can't sleep at night
have you ever tried to find the words but they don't come out right
have you ever
have you ever
have you ever

have you ever been in love
been in love so bad
you'd do anything
to make them understand
have you ever had someone
steal your heart away
you'd give anything, oh
to make them feel the same
have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
but you don't know what to say
and you don't know where to start

have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry
have you ever needed somethin' so bad you can't sleep at night
have you ever tried to find the words but they don't come out right
have you ever
have you ever
have you ever found the one
you dreamed of all your life
you'd do just about anything
to look into their eyes
have you finally found the one
you've given your heart to
only to find that one
won't give their heart to you
have you ever closed your eyes and dreamed that they were there
and all you can do is wait
for the day when they will care

have you ever loved sombody
makes you wanna break down and cry
so, so bad
have you ever tried to find the words but they don't
oh, have you ever
have you ever, ever, ever
what do I gotta do to get you in my arms
what do I gotta say to get to your heart
to make you understand
how I need you next to me
gotta get you in my world
cause baby, I can't sleep

have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry
have you ever needed somethin' so bad you can't sleep at night
have you ever tried to find the words
but they don't come out rightHave you ever
have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry
have you ever needed somethin' so bad you can't sleep at night
have you ever tried to find the words but they don't come out right
have you ever
have you ever, ever, ever
oh, have you ever
*
heard this song on the radio.. erg. they'll playing all the love songs 'cause valentines' day is coming. tsk tsk. the only song i heard that is not lovey dovey is year 3000 by busted. ha. boy, do i hate valentines' day and it's not because i've got nobody spend it with or something. oh please, firstly, i've got girlfriends to spend it with. secondly, i treat it like any other ordinary day so most likely i just go shopping. oh gosh and i hate it also 'cause it's so hard to get birthday presents 'cause everything says - i love you.. blah. truthfully to me, valentines' day should be everyday if you're 'attached' and you two should not only give each other gifts on v.day./be nice to each other. [hahaha! -snort] 'cause that's pathetic. tsk tsk. -yawn- the song above is rather nice.. i'm still trying to find the song that i love so much...
does anyone know the title,
part of the lyric is
'life is a dancefloor
love is the rhythm and
you are the music.'
that's all i know.. hoho. i tried finding it using all the words in the lyrics and guessing the title - to no avail yaas? okay then. i'm so bored. as usual ahh. all thanks to mee pigging out this afternoon..
`ii really don't wanna talk to youu. *pity

gorgiing myself with strawberry flavoured love letters.
erg. i think a day of cold drinks and ice cream and all such has made it stopp.
budd noww i'm having a bad stomachache
actually, i don't think it's because of that.
'cause i didn't eat dinner. aha!
i'm such a lamer. tsk tsk.
i'm getting lamer as the days past.
see how lame am ii? -faint-
i feel like throwing a thousand slippers at myself.
or like the fat lady in kungfu hustle..
slap everybody with my slipper.. hohoho!

i'm getting so frustrated with my haiir.

it's so ugly.

aha. i've always known it's ugly..

tsk-tsk.

i just don't have a choice.

i reallie feel like chopping off all my hair right noww.

the only time i look nice is when i tie my hair sideways

and if i do that in school, i'm gonna look like this sec one ah lian

and that is so totallie gross!

yuckks.

erg. my whole family is pissing mee to ashes,

more like my mom and maid.

my maid is jus like my mom so you get the point.

UGH.

i'm talking to jeralyn and jamin online.

jer and ii are talking important matters - tomorrow's dinner. yepps.

haii. i'm feeling so sick and tired of my doopied hair.

tell me! chop or keep yaas?

help me!

cheryll ; mee! ((:  

jerallyn ; mee. 210105 sentosa youth outing. in the monorail... it's so slow, we had to resort to this.. mwahahas. 

i dont think i care
about all your flowers and candy
about all your love and sweet kisses
cause tonight's the night
i burn all those memories
till they turn to dust
I dont think i care
that you cry your eyes red
cause today's the day
my hand breaks free of yours
and i walk alone down this path
do you think i care?
cause really,
i dont.
-taken from a skin done by justiniechan.

hmm. this really sounds like me. oh gosh. well, i was browsing for skins. i am just getting sick and tired of this 'falling into you' skin. -yawn- i need to go for something more 'independent' and nothing to do with love and boys, preferably. it's just so mushy, i can die. hahaha.

school rocked today but time really passed so fast. rach, michelle, wt, jasmine and i were pissed with kenneth, zhanglin and jinrong. they refuse to pay for their class jerseys. the worst part is that we paid the 'shirt-maker' with our money so they owe us the money and there they go saying that they didn't want the shirt anymore and it's like personalized with their name, so it's not so easy to just 'desert' it just like that. we gave them chances like they can pay a few dollars or even one dollar a day for it. tsk-tsk. why bother begging such inconsiderate people. ay.

forget the pissifying people.

where has jeralyn gone?

haven't talked to her all week, and she hasn't blogged either.

but i just messaged her whether she wanted to go for a movie on val's day. she replied but she has sectionals on that day sigh. later i wanna go meet cheryl at coffee bean. i don't care! my only confidant, of course. I love her much! :)) heh. don't go saying i'm acting lesbian or am lesbian. -begs to differ!- okay. school ended at 12.30 today. geog lesson was fun. yeah, that's all. life's getting boring. erg.

jasonmraz.youandiboth.
Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me
All things are gonna happen naturally
Oh taking your advice and I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing
.
Oh but at often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright light turns to night
Oh until the dawn it brings
Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me
.
'Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of,
Others only read of the love
Oh the love that I love
.
See I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages for words
More words than I had ever heard
And I feel so alive
.
'Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
And if you could see me now
oh love, love, you and I you and I
Not so little you and I any more
and with this silence brings a moral story
More importantly evolving
Is the glory of a boy
.
'Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
And if you could see me now
Well then I'm almost finally out of
I'm finally out of
Finally, well i'm almost finally, finally,
Well I am free, oh I'm free
.
And it's ok
If you had to go away
Oh just remember the telephones
Well they're working in both ways
But if I never, ever hear them ring
If nothing else
I'll think the bells inside have finally found you someone else
And that's ok
'Cause I'll remember everything you sang
.
'Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
And if you could see me now
Well then I'm almost finally out of
I'm finally out of, finally,
Well I'm almost finally finally,
Out of words.

ahahahahahahaha.

i'm dying of amusement.

it's nice. really, really nice.

to just be a pain at times.

i just love to annoy you [lynette's pep phrase to me. haha]

-pained laughter/ku xiao-

now i'm just sitting back and relaxing, without a care in the world

it's really good!

your mind is at peace

and then you are at peace with yourself.

that sorta thing.

it's great, that i don't even get angry

or even anything else bad. i'm just plain happy.

it's the self-satisfaction thing.

i don't mind if i piss the world off, and get whacked.

when you're in this mode, you don't feel anything but sheer happiness.

it's beyond wonderful.

*

ay. you know, when you insult me, you can't take it back.

seriously, i have photographic memory and not to mention a good memory.

i remember everything everyone says or do to me or to others.

and i remember all the feelings that rush to my mind at that moment too.

you can't fool me and

i don't give in so easily either.

several people have labelled me icey.

and they explained that i have a very cold exterior but a warm interior.

and added that it's hard to break the exterior. ahaha.

i'm sorry, you made such an effort to put me down, but unfortunately,

it didn't work at all.

you're just hopelessly wasting your time. tsk-tsk.

i think differently so don't use the method you use with other girls.

it doesn't work. yep.

rwahhaahhahaha.

*

ay. today went to uncle's place. watched kungfu hustle during lunch [mee siam] .. yupps. then at night, we had the popiah party. hahahas. no laas. just had dinner with my maternal relatives. they were so funny! cheryl was wearing this adorable so-called-by-joel javanese top. woo. nothing interesting to blog today just that, i'm SO elated, exhilarated, beyond the joy of the Lord! wahhahahahahahahahahaha!

avrillavigne.nobodyshomeextract
I couldn't tell you
Why she felt that way
She felt it everyday
I couldn't help her
I just watched her make
The same mistakes again

She wants to go home but nobody's home
That's where she lies broken inside
No place to go, no place to go
To dry her eyes broken inside

Open your eyes
And look outside
Find the reason why
You've been rejected
And now you can't find
What you left behind

Be strong, be strong now
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs

my family and i at uncle s.e's house. :)) 

paternal side - grandchildren and great grandchildren. i'm the last grandchild okay. not part of the great grands.. haha 

(from left to right) my nieces & nephew. wei hertz, weiting, joanna and nicola. ((: w.h is totally adorable!  

quote joel` this is what happens when you play too much hip hop gong xi fa cai.  

`dong dong qiangg
.
oh my god. there's this lion dance troupe or something going around my house area... outside. and it's SO annoying. woke me a billion times this morning and i'm feel so tired now. wah lao. still making noise noww. i'm fainting. yep.

`dies. faints. pukes.
oh forget it. TSK. it's not going to change the fact that they're still there.

`old people are monstrosities,

raise your hands if you agree with me.`

-raises both hands like in surrender-

.

i'm mad, crazy, in search of nonsensical people [like lynette]

.

pah. am now at home. tonight there's gonna be a 'party' at my house? yeah

some popiah dinner thingy. woot. all my favourite aunts and uncles are coming [mother's side, basically.]

my favourite cousins too!

i love joel

i love jonathan

i love gerald

i love cheryl

i love bernice

i love abigail.

i dislike benjamin.

. rwahhs .

i know clarissa will comment on how mean i am on the benjamin part. tsk.

he has always been m.i.a in everything laas. so anyway, erg.

i'm so bored.

people say i'm negative, agressive, fierce.

no laas. i mean, at times ya, but i'm a pretty happy person la,

unless -narrows eyes for effect-

you incur my wrath.. hahas. NO!

i'm not that mean.

i'm a nice person and all.

-waves at invisible crowd-

but i've got to still add that -at times only and to chosen people yaas.

i don't exactly like wasting my breath on people whom i don't really like to talk to.

on the phone, i only talk on the phone with people whom i actually am nice to, which are the selected few la.

heard that?

for others, if you happen to call me, and happen to notice that i always seem to be busy everytime,

it's not cause i'm busy. but i don't welcome your chatter. i'm mad. but i don't do that often la. except to really, really annoying people yaa?

pardon mee, i'm mad. so happy yet so negative and ALONE. tsk tsk tsk.

pitiful me, cheryl's eating. no one to accompany my boring self. yawn

i think i'm going to sit back and relax the whole day.

yupyup...

.

`old people are still monstrosities.

-raises both hands and legs in agreement-

hahahahaahahahahahahahaha

.

.

.

i'm such a lamer.

.

.

.

.

.

out.

you know, new year actually kinda sucks for me.
it's so boring. please.
and the worst thing is, when we go from house to house,
you've got to plaster a more-than-fake smile on your face
and pretend you're happily receiving red packets.
i do not like to be hypocritical but still, i had to do what's above.
erg. don't remind me, i was pulling a long face every other time i wasn't
receiving anything or shaking anyone's hands. life was so sucky.
i was the FRIGGIN' photographer - literally. i had to use the
cam to take pics of all the families 'cause my dad wanted all the other
families pictures. like that is so UNimportant. i was super pissed and when
i told my dad politely that i didn't wanna take, he flared and like scolded me, which
is totally equivalent to embarrassing me in public. thanks a lot.
i'm currently feeling SO frustrated with myself and everyone else.
---
at night, i went to cheryl's house. that was the only place i wasn't really
pulling a long face 'cause i was quite happy there, cheryl was annoying me
to ashes 'cause she kept wanting to watch tv. like the whole family there was watching
american idol after dinner - how pointless. seriously. i felt so hopeless! so
in the end, i stayed in cheryl's rm with bernice and abigail playing some
game and chatted on my phone. yes, yes, i know that's rude and all but still,
i had to talk to someone. i was bursting. anyway, turned out,
both of us were pissed at our moms. hahas. [dad only pissed me once. mom pissed
me infinity] unfortunately, we were meanly bitching about parents and -sigh-
i felt better later. then i chatted with cheryl on the bed after she finally decided she
didn't want to watch a.i hor? hahahahahahas. -lays off- okayokay!
---
bored outt. erg.erg.erg.erg. i think i'm going nuts from having nothing to do. no
one's online. everyone's kinda pissing me off and i feel so screwed up. ye-aaww-ouch!
i was thinking A LOT today and observing people too [i'm not a pervert okaes.] i was thinking
about olgc times and how mean i was last time. my clique was like full of nice but also mean people but actually, we're all quite sadly, hypocritical .. towards each other? at times yaas? that's what you get when few bitchy people becomes good friends. -hint hint- you get my point. pah :)) but i love them no matter whadds! muack. but olgc rocks anyway.. heh. then i also thought about my kindergarten [long time ago!] and i realise how similar both schools are. i was brought up in a presbyterian kindergarten and catholic primary school. nice. but now i'm in a secondary school that is in my mind, a dump for those who couldn't-make-it. i somehow wished i went back to sjc. it's english, it's a nice place to call your 'home' and you get what i mean? now, i feel embarrassed when i wear the stupid deyi uniform to orchard. it's so ugly and i look half like a janitor. yeah. erg. and next time after the o's, we've gotta wear our sch u's to the jc/i, i feel so grossed out and those my-kind peeps won't mix with me, because of my sec sch. look how secondary schools make a difference. so i made up my mind, i'm gonna buy an sjc uniform!! the whole set. anyway, i got the chij look. it's okay! hahaha -buay hiao bai- and not to mention, the ij accent. it's our trademark.
olgc rocks.
`nothing to change that. :))

ay ay ay, i blogged the jamm gang blog.

ahahahahahahahaha.

you know, this sounds so bitchified la

but seriously,

i realise i've gotta wait for my 'bogay' teeth to be alright

before i cann take any pictures or neoprints.

thanks alot sgh for plucking out my teeth

i'm so gonna look so ugly for new year?

ahahaha.

planetshakers.big
My God is big
So strong so mighty
-
My God's plan for me
Goes beyond my wildest dreams
-
My God is good
He's so good to me
-
My God is big
So strong so mighty
-
My God is good
He's so good to me
-
He's my God and
He is my refuge
He's the rock on which I stand
He's my fortress
God, He is my life
He holds the oceans in His hand
-
My God is Big
So Strong so mighty
-
My God is good
He's so good to me
-
There's nothing my God cannot do

oooh. whadd a nice day. woot.

went to school for new year celebration

the dances they put up were so great.

and personally, i love the indian cultural club! hahas.

i liked the performances by the teachers [spasm!!], the malaya, the graduated malay dance group that is so totally cool and also the indian cultural club la.

hahahahahahahaha.

hyper hyper hyper.

I'M HYPER! who can tame me?

so after school, i went heartland mall with jasmine, rachel and nurul.

we were meditating there on the benches 'cause all the shops were closed!

we were supposed to eat pizza hut then it was opening at 11 and we were there at 10.

gosh. we waited a while then decided to kill time by taking silly neoprints. haha.

then okay, we went kfc to eat lunch 'cause we waited so long, we nearly starved to death.

after that, i took train with nurul to dhoby ghaut then change train to orchard. she took all the way to woodlands to meet her dad. so i met cheryl at orchard. i totally love her! aha! we went everywhere. i bought quite a lot of stuff. we chatted loadds and then we walked around aimlessly and i was feeling quite tired. heh. we went to coffee bean and drank white chocolate dream. yumms. we saw ronald with his mum, he looked loads different la, so at first we couldn't recognize him. we can bet 99% he saw us but obviously ignored us la. haha. fyne. then we sat down and chatted loadds again and drinking yaas. after that, shopped more.. hahas. we walked to far east yah. wasted time there but looked at lots of stuff laa. then when we met jeremy, ernest, nicholas and ian. aye. we were walking towards the 'down' escalator, they came up. coincidental. tsk-tsk. ahahahahahaha. ernest cut his hair.. looks even more like a small boy, haha. okay. after that we headed home 'cause cheryl needed to go for reunion dinner at jumbo restaurant -jealous- which is in the middle of both our houses la. we spent an hour chatting about her k.w and k.o friend and even at the interchange waiting for bus so i think we chatted SO much. omg. at the interchange, she was so mortified and grossed out and traumatized by this old man, who sat down and like didn't wear underwear. gosh. i didn't see anything though. she saw EVERYTHING. like yuckks. stupid old man, not enough money to buy underwear i give you la! it's like pollution to our eyes. [imagines whadd jinghan, jeralyn and michelle would do when they read this]. so went home yupp. tried on class jersey. oh yeah! we just got our jerseys. woohoos. fbt. ahhs. it's nice but it's a little on the big side and it's the smallest size so sigh. but it's really NICE. it says : LOUISA - 03. the number's according to index number and i feel quite funny 'cause in soccer or anything, there's no number after 23/24? right. and my class has forty peeps. jasmine was commenting she's the goalkeeper.. hahahas. :))

while walking back, saw siak hui at my house. he was so annoying canns. covering his face with his plastic bag. TSK.

-smackk-

gotta go eat reunion dinner at seven.. woot.

ciaoo.

the year of the rooster
pok pok kairr.
omg, whadd am i doing? embarassing myself in public. hoho.
i'm still on a HiGH.
always high.
-agrees with michelle- skip, skip away.
*kisses my troubles away. :))
it is that sense of self-satisfaction
ilovemylife.

it's the happiest day of my life! :))

i'm gonna scream myself hoarse! i've found myself back! -hugs herself- really, really!

i had so much fun, trust me. my fun level is totally brimming and overflowing despite my maths test results. tsk-tsk. okay, let's talk about maths now - the bad news. mr johari sucks, seriously, i failed my maths test, badly. liyan failed too. i'm so peeved, not with my results or myself, but mr jo, his teaching skills/style is so bad, i'm speechless. firstly, i never ever failed any of my maths test since primary five and the only one i failed was the topic i didn't understand. he is rewarding those with good results and good improvement and you know what, he's using candy and stickers. i felt SO insulted. we are secondary two not primary three and below. thank you. tsk. he's the new teacher and hod for maths - talk about a lousy teacher. he is making people think we do well for our tests to get stupid cheap sweets that we've never seen before, not because they're rare but 'cause they're those chinese-y and weird tasting sweets that are the size of erasers and taste horrible. i know where he probably got them. i saw them sold at two shops in ang mo kio central. oh yes it is from there. definitely. -smacks hand on table for effect- so in conclusion - mr jo sucks to the core. miss chan is ten times better.

i've got this feeling that during sec one they purposely gave all the good teachers so that you won't transfer out then secondary two, you get all the lousy teachers. so pissifying. erg.

*

let's go to the happy part noww. miss chan was being such a joker today. haha. she dressed like a bush - rwahhahahass. she wore this black plain top and dark green 'jeans'. it was quite funny but she dresses quite well basically. ah, okay. -fast forward to the fun part- today after school, we celebrated lin lao shi's birthday. her b'day's tomorrow. heh. cool. jasmine, hwee en, michelle and i were holding her back from going home while the others went to buy the necessary products for the party heh. so rachel was the so called lurer. smsed lin lao shi saying she wanted to talk to her and blahdy blah. lin l.s really thought it was serious. it really did sound serious anyway, that's the point! haha. so we had this flour thing. got her caked with flour and whoever else around caked too but i was the only one flourless. skills man! hahahas. okay, after that we went to fix our chingay costumes. so annoying, my costume - mask and vest- were in perfect condition but i still had to stay back to fix other people's costume. tsk. hahas. -brag- talk about sl standard. haha. no la, just kidding. liyana and shikin were coming late so, wen theng and i were unfortunately left in charge of the whole section. we were making a whole lot of noise outside. screaming and whatever else. later after everyone was leaving [without permission mind you]. we sent the masks for checking - failed 'cause we didn't know must tape all the masks. tsk. so that's what the thick tape i bought was for. so we taped it then we passed. woots. we quickly grabbed our bags and left the room, in hope of yingmei not checking the masks and calling us back to fix the spoilt ones. hahas. okay then was wondering whether to meet my girlfriend [not a church person, thank you] , but in the end, I tossed her aside and went home. haha. so here i am ... happily writing this post. okay. done about band and school.

*

about me finding myself back. heh

i totallie did today, i realised. i love my usual self. in school, i'm no more the "almost-rebecca". i'm not quiet anymore, i'm not prim and proper. call me the fallen councillor. thankss! i've stop being the stupid pair of goody-two-shoes. i've opened myself up, i've become my usual 'in-church- self.

i dance around, i sing, i scream, i jump around, hop to class, it's almost like the joy of the lord. maybe the joy of freedom ay? cool. i'm back to insulting people or annoying people haha, being mischievous and not to mention, childish yet matured. ahh. that's the word.. hahaha! i was insulting ray today during the fixing of costumes. he had five girls against him. definitely he'll lose. he was like so lame. let me show you whadd we say. it was beyond spasm!

ray : i feel raped.

lou : like who wants to rape you?

ray : you la!

lou : who wants to rape you? excuse me, you're so not my type.

bei yu : yee, then you go for which kind.

lou : oh i'm not gonna explain. hahas.

steph : -laughs helplessly-

wen theng : ray, don't try to quarrel with four girls la, you're so definitely gonna lose.

lou : ya, like precisely. tsk tsk.

--

steph asks a question and ray starts blabbering away.

steph : ray, will you shut up? i wasn't asking you.

lou : hey, that's a good one -rolls on floor in laughter-

bei yu : -laughs with pained expression-

lou : ray, i think you need companionship is it? you like to answer even though no one's asking you anything.

steph : -laughs- ya lorh.

--

during science lesson, it was really funny. mr wong was talking about how poisonous iodine solution was, blah. jasmine and i were talking super lame 'cause it was boring.

louisa : he said 'don't drink iodine, you will die', haha, imagine if we drank iodine, we'll all be blue in colour.

jas : -laughs so loudly-

louisa : he's so lame. hahahahahaha.

jas : all of us will be smurfs.

louisa : -gets the joke after two seconds and collapses with laughter-

oh that's a good one!

jasmine : -laughs loudly, madly and with a pained expression-

mr wong : -laughs along at imaginary joke- what's so funny.

--

lame. you cann tell how happy i am. i blogged SO much. rwahhhahahahahahahas.

i'm mee. finally!

LOUISA'S BACK!

okay. was feeling so bored just now that couldn't bring myself to blog anything. -sigh- i was practicing my piano just now and my mom so like chased me away. tsk. who's the one who wants me to pass my piano exam? HER! okay okay. enough about her. ay. i saw my band senior today! lydia!!! ahahas. she was dressed so adorably so young looking aha! gee. i'm so mad today. she called my name then i turned la [duh] then she waved. she's so sweet! :)) she's the nicest saxophonist canns.... woot. okay. er, nothing much to post today 'cause the day was super drab la. i was dying of unamusement and boredom ...
I am SO unamused with myself.
tsk.

okay. was feeling so bored just now that couldn't bring myself to blog anything. -sigh- i was practicing my piano just now and my mom so like chased me away. tsk. who's the one who wants me to pass my piano exam? HER! okay okay. enough about her. ay. i saw my band senior today! lydia!!! ahahas. she was dressed so adorably so young looking aha! gee. i'm so mad today. she called my name then i turned la [duh] then she waved. she's so sweet! :)) she's the nicest saxophonist canns.... woot. okay. er, nothing much to post today 'cause the day was super drab la. i was dying of unamusement and boredom ...

I am SO unamused with myself.

tsk.

kutless.seaoffaces
I see the city lights all around me
Everyone's obscure
Ten million people each with their problems
Why should anyone care?

And in your eyes I can see...

I am not just a man vastly lost in this world
Lost in a sea of faces
Your body's the bread, Your blood is the wine
Because You traded Your life for mine

Sometimes my life it feels so trivial
Immersed in the greatness of space
Yet somehow You still find the time for me
It's then You show me Your love

And in your eyes I can see...
And in your arms I will be...

I am not just a man vastly lost in this world
Lost in a sea of faces
Your body's the bread, Your blood is the wine
Because You traded Your life for mine

If only my one heart
Was all You'd gain from all it cost
Well I know You would have
Still been a man with a reason
To willingly offer your life

I am not just a man vastly lost in this world
Lost in a sea of faces
Your body's the bread, Your blood is the wine
Because You traded Your life for mine

Just one in a million faces

my computer cd player's making a weird sound. omg, please don't spoil at a time like this.

oh yeah. my blog is so screwed up, erg. like half of my links after pamela is gone. i just filled up phyllis's link. erg. my events are all gone. credits too. yughh. i'm not gonna type them back. so annoyed to the maximum. hey jeralyn, you aren't blogging the other blog.. tsk! =)

`you will never be replacedd girl!! =)

not by a boy especially. thank you!

*

tsk.tsk.tsk.tsk.tsk.tsk.tsk.tsk.

bad hair day

bad day

bored to tears -sigh- as usual right? okay, so after church i went to have piano lesson - yah yah. so boring. i was choosing my third piece lar. got it! it's called impromptu. heh. i nearly chose this by chopin.. but it was really long and boring. something like a waltz [eh? it's a polonaise!] but please, everytime i go for exams, i try to get out of the room asap. play a five minutes song? no way! C pieces are always such pains in the butts. tsk.

i don't know why people want to learn piano. yes, i know. i love music too but i don't really like the piano, it's such a common instrument - so typical, so boring. haha. i wanna go practice my piano noww. haha. like since when did i start practicing the piano.. heh.

oh crap laas. i haven't done my maths and science homework.

sigh!

i wish i ain't going school tomorrow.

maybe i cann escape stupid mr jo and mrs lim. gee.

`confused.convinced.confirmed?

saw this on some guy's shirt in far east. hahas.

observant ain't I?

today band was really fun.

we did chingay at the start.

then later the percussionists went up to the band room

while the rest of the band learnt the gimmicks for

the school opening. yeah!

i was in ensemble, together with :

beiyu ;

jasmine ;

shital ;

sindiya ;

ray.

we learnt the sax orientale and moonlight kungfu song.

the moonlight kungfu was so cute!

it's a bell solo and you know whadd?

it sounds just like nippon minyo. bwahhs.

so jasmine, beiyu and I kept getting mixed up.

the band's gimmicks are soo adorable!

they were dancing aroundd canns.

*applause

it was quite funny lar. but think about it,

it's really cool when a group of people do lame stuff together.

haha. i'm not saying their dance is lame!

okay maybe it is a little.. haha. -looks around and hides face-

so now the moonlight kungfu thing is done!

the gimmicks, the drumline, the solo, all put together!

woot. okay! gotta runn now. heh.

*

i love hwee en ;

i love rachel ;

i love beiyu ;

i love peishan ;

i love erica ;

i love jasmine ;

i love nurul ;

i love wen theng!

this is the clique i do stuff with.. haha.

they're such nice people!

[except when they turn nasty... hahahahaha.]

:))
quote qiuling `lurrve loadds.

quote jeralyn`

pissifying piece of shit.

i feel like smacking THAT person's face.

she is a girl with a big attitude problem

not to mention, she so cheesed me off.

i controlled myself so hard.

i could've just slapped her across the face or something.

like just because i don't say anything doesn't mean

i'm okay about it.

sometimes when i say don't push your luck too far,

i really mean it.

if you're trying to test my patience,

it's fine here.

you're most welcome in fact.

i repeat again -

she is such a pissifying piece of crap.

oh that's too nice. fine

she is such a pissifying piece of shit.

whadd rubbish.

-snort-

03022005

band was incredibly shiok and tiring today! it really made me feel really good. we went through very intensive training today and -phew!- it was pure torture for all of us. the whole band was getting push ups everytime. i think in total we did about 80-100 male push-ups. oh goshh. excos were the most severely punished and next, the ncos. we did marching and they really killed us then. anyone out of timing ; turn wrong side etc, the whole band will get it. trust mee, we were rather frightened. so at the end of the band practice, they didn't punish the band and ncos (double) 'cause they felt that we went through much more during the practice. they also commented that everyone was so shag-faced and dead looking throughout the later part of the practice - formations! the 'torture' was worse than syf training. now when i think back on the syf and all the sweat we've given to training for it, i don't regret it. it is just that self-accomplishment leaves you feeling really 'full' in your self-esteem(?) that you feel so good about it after all the horrible training that you wanna go for it again. it is just that sense of unity in the section and band. truthfully, i kinda missed it. you get it from nowhere else. i remember the runs at the mrt tracks, seven-ten rounds without stopping. 450m each, the cheering before meals, all the running, all the sweat, all the pain, all the casualties, all the marching, all the cheering during physical training, all the fun we've had laughing at each other, all the honour we felt when our school watched us do our entire syf performance in the field. all these, are such precious memories. our friendships made in the section/band are rather strong because of all these. in my section, no one's sexist and everybody drinks from the same bottle (if they've finished theirs). this is just so, so true.

this is what a good team is supposed to be like.

`pride, honour, discipline

-the percussion motto-

`excerpt

-ashlee simpson.shadow-

living in the shadow of someone else's dream

trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me

living in a nightmare, a never-ending sleep

but now that I am wide awake, then I can finally see

don't feel sorry for me

Looks are so Beautiful written by jamin
I wonder why I judge myself shy,
Looking at others feeling I could die.
Unsure of why I feel so inferior,
Exterior aside flaws of my interior.

I wonder why I stretch others skins,
Irritation of patience pull out so thin.
Unknown reasons why people shunt me,
is it how I look or is it just me.

Wishing I could put this nonsense aside,
the rules of beauty I refuse to abide.
Yet this world is bound to their eyes,
whatever is pleasing whatever is fine.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,
a man who looks inside is the man who's bolder.
Sayings of a worldly dreamer,
No man is perfect but we have God the Redeemer.

Maquerade! Paper faces on parade

Masquerade! Hide your face so the world will never find you

Masquerade! Every face a different shade

Masquerade! Look around, there's another mask behind you.

Flash of mauve, Splash of puce

Fool and king, Ghoul and goose

Green and black, Queen and priest

Trace of rouge, Face of beast

Faces!

Take your turn, take a ride

On the merry-go-roundin an inhuman race

Eye of gold, Thigh of blue

True is false, Who is who?

Curl of lip, Swirl of gown

Ace of hearts, Face of clown

Faces!

Drink it in, drink it up

Till you've drowned

In the light, In the sound

But who can name the face?

*

Masquerade! Grinning yellows, spinning reds

Masquerade! Take your fill, let the spectacle astound you

Masquerade! Burning glances, turning heads

Masquerade! Stop and stare at the sea of smiles around you

Masquerade! Seething shadows breathing lies

Masquerade! You can fool any friend who ever knew you

Masquerade! Leering satyrs, peering eyes

Masquerade! Run and hide, but a face will still pursue you.

phantom of the opera.masquerade :))

*

well. i'm feeling sour, bitten, cheesed off and quite frustrated.

tsk. frown at how ungodly i am. whatever. diew.

okay let's go on the more happy things yaa?

school was great today.

jasmine came to school late at 9 'cause she went

for the first braces checkup. [that means not confirmed

going for braces with sgh. ahh.]

okay. so she came during english period and we were doing

our fairytale letter writing competition - if that's whadd you call it.

it's kinda lame and i so like written the whole letter myself with tips

from dearest rachel yesterday and hwee en and jasmine were just

fooling around .. but they were making mee laugh - so i don't mind. heh. ((:

so it was presentation today. we stuck our decorated mahjong paper on the wall

then we had the 'gallery walk' [miss chan calls it that, so lame!]

after school, i went to kfc with jasmine to eat lunch. yumms.

then we took the same bus and headed home.

we were soo complaining on the bus.

talk about fussy & bitchy.

lemme ask you a question :

would you rather be well-liked or well-known?

i chose well-liked.

~

I don't care what people will say

I'm running after You

I won't turn back and go their way

'Cause I’m running after You

`running after you.planetshakers

stuck with ms piss-me-exasperated in the room. i was so happy after school today. heh. oh godd. i carnt be bothered to blog already. my sis is driving mee nuts 'cause she said i like to tell the whole world about my life through the blog. I mean that's true. but i carnt help it, i'm bored to bits and this is for my close friends to read, who told you to go read it.. diew.
FYNE. i don't wanna blog no more..
maybe a little
bwahaha.

i'm mortified by my sister.
she has to do everything to either embarass me, piss me off or just drive me nuts.
as usual. -shakes head in resignation-
yawn.
i'm desperate - think again.
so sorry ar, don't use that word on mee.
i mean, my sister used it on me and last night
she totally pissed me off beyond pissification-ness.
she asked mee to do her rubbish then later asked
someone else to do it, what a waste of my effort!
And not to mention she was sarcastically saying/insulting me
that i was so unhelpful and all. diew. -exasperated-
whatever, i've got my own life.
-sigh- i always feel like telling the whole world to piss off
maybe I should do so myself.
-rolls eyes-

bountiful, bountiful, bountiful.

today is my most fruitful day ever in my history of going out with friends ever! i totally love jeralyn although we sinfully spent loadds of money. heh. let me tell you about the not-so-happy thing first. today, school was kinda fun and I spent half my day laughing my head off or literally rolling on the floor in lame laughter at jonathan, jasmine and ervin's jokes. bwahaha! heh. one of my best days ever! history was so totally boring today, erg. mrs lim was teaching the lesson with those powerpoint slides and you know what, she was so lamely talking to the wall. it was so obvious the whole class can't be bothered to listen to her chatter. the whole class was busy entertaining themselves, chatting away, cutting and sticking their history notes and some, even singing and I was lying on the table, falling asleep. mind you, i do not sleep in lessons, but i just lie on my table with a constipated frown plastered on my face and will be just dreaming away. i shan't talk about the more than agonizing but amusing thing that happened today, bwahhs, it so became my fault even though technically it wasn't la. i don't mind la, i get blamed. people side me anyway.

`little things don't put me down and [little peopledon't put me down too.]

whadd a crybaby, sorry to say. i was too but I've changed already so i believe you can change it!

okay! lemme talk about after school! i left school with jasmine and we walked slowly to the bus stop and waited with jasmine until her bus came. heh. then i went to the mrt and went to meet jeralyn at tp. she was late canns but it was okay la. i waiting for 'bout 8-10 minutes and duh, there was j.k.ps. Oh yarh!! at amk mrt, this disgusting old man so brushed his shoulder against my shoulder SO hard and it was on the escalator, he walked past. it is so totally ergifying and mortifying. he is suchh a true j.k.p (jikopei). the escalator's so wide, he has to brush against me meh?! PERVERT. okay, backk to the story.

jeralyn and i dropped off at orchard and we hung around in wisma and bought quite a lot of stuff. she bought 2 topshop tops [i wanted to buy too but the colour i wanted didn't have my size ..but smaller.. boohoo.] then we went to ig's heaven, oh man, that is one horrid place to go. we were feeling quite disturbed by those dolls. they really looked like voodoo dolls, you gedd whadd i mean? erg. the rest of the things are fine la. we both bought some bag and one box of cute stuff and I also bought a blackk pouch. quite cute and super super cheap. heh! cheapo freakks = jeralyn and mee. bwahahahass!

after that, we went precious thots and jeralyn spent a million years looking for her friend's present. she is like giving valentine's day presents..to girls. she always makes me so pressurized to go buy things. ((: mwahhs. it's some closing down sale and everything is like shupper cheap canns. oh, and jeralyn bought this prince doll at five buckks so adorable! but i prefer the soldier/warrior. CUTER. so after that we were talking about skirts, and we came to the subject of --. we were like so bitching on the way to bugis laa. heh. we were feeling extra turned off by the skirt conflict.

immature, copycat, gross, inoriginal, desperate, typical herself

whadd can i say to describe her?

ERG. like have some integrity please? -gawk-

so we went to bugis and checked out loadds of stuff and of course, bought loads of stuff too! woots. in total, i spent about $40. and I boughtt ... *drumrolll*

`one racer back tank top

`one blue bag

`one black pouch

`one wallet

`three pairs of earrings.

*

oh yeah! i didn't talk about one pair of the earrings I bought. I so got tricked into buying this earring pouch, i feel like killing the sales girl can. she asked if i wanted a pouch .. i said yes 'cause she so totally didn't give me a plastic bag and i had to pay a dollar for it! jeralyn also had to, 'cause she bought a necklace and she so forgot to tell mee loes.. ergg. i felt so cheated. fyne fyne fyne...

whoaa so tired now. am gonna buzz now. =) [not sleep larr]

cheryl's post on friday was one smacking good post. seriously. it was 'touching' in a way and really really full of depth. i never knew she could write that well. i mean, she can write real well but not to this extent of emotional talk and all. what can i say but applaud her. it is really so moving yet so true. i agree with her 'emotional' talk too. it is so good mans. i feel quite miserable too -looks at cheryl and frowns- same here. hey, cheer up! same parents, same genes, same torture, same kind of mortification for us. right?

-sigh-

my mom is kinda driving me nuts day by day and i really, really don't wanna shout at her or scream at her. nowadays, i've learnt to control myself from doing all these not-honouring-your-parents stuff. i learnt to shout/scream less and think positively like that she is scolding me because she loves me or something along that line.

sigh.sigh.sigh

this is just so saddening. i feel so lonely at times.

so lonely, i can cry.

but i enjoy my solitude at times, though.

well, sometimes, i really, really feel like i've got no friends,

i'm anti-social,

i suck at my social skills,

and people think i'm some ill-bred,

proud, boastful, gossipy [er, ok, maybe that's true.]

BRAT.

and I hate it when people start spread it around when they don't even know me as I am yet. all they've heard is just rumours and rumours and rumours with no basis at all. i don't have much rumours in sch going around 'cause i don't really talk much so i'm not quite a bitch there. i used to have them though in primary school and you know whadd? both of us were best friends but friendly-ly spreading gossips about each other. call us best friends. pah.

but it's weird. we can talk to each other (and insult celine. bwahhss!) really well still even though we've gone off to our own separate ways. quite cool actually. i mean, she's a nice girl and all but she's a bitch too. if you don't know her she will be a stone cold object to you. and to tell you the truth, she's colder than mee. brr. -shiver-

okay!

i've been thinking alot today ('cause i had a lot of free time)

somebody has been chiding me, so subtly. but i take it so badly.

i think i suck.

seriously.

if you think i'm gonna defend myself against your insults,

nope, i'm not gonna try.

it's just about me putting myself in other's shoes

and what would jesus do..

i feel so hurt at times, i mean not because of what 'it' said.

i try so hard.

it's working.

but these little things can ruin everything.

-sob-

oh forget it, you're not gonna understand.

i understand the pain of cheryl.

cheryl,

i feel it too.

quote zeslene`we've never felt so, so alone, we are?

yesterday

a good day perhaps

i carnt really say anything can I?

-shrug-

it was exhausting though [as usual]

morning sucked la

the lessons were taking donkey years to pass

and not to mention the lessons were super boring

erg.

after school, we all dumped our mobiles and wallets in our lockers

then we rushed to the band room to have warm up for the lunchtime concert

it's the launch of this new thing on every last friday of the month

and the band is opening it, woot.

we were so stressed out!

we had to move all the percussion insts to the quad

and the band rm is like on the 4th floor!

-flabbergasted-

the timpanis were killing the 'manpower'.

in the end, they didn't bring down the concert bass drum 'cause it was so

heavy and waste of time 'cause we could use the marching one.

so we did.

i carried my bell stand & the concert snare stand

omigod, the snare stand is like twice the weight of the snare itself

ugh.

during the performance, the marching part of it, i so messed up the first part

'can't take my eyes off you', i mean, i forgot how to play ... heh. but i got

back on track after that anywayy. =p after the marching, we sat down and played

three pieces. then the next item came in -

the 5/2 jazz band

thasnim was singing!! and shikin was playing the jazz set!!!

oooh! all from band! i mean the two other guys aren't from band la. heh

after the whole concert, i went to jasmine's house

we bathed then went to some foodcourt and ate dinner then went back to her

house and her dad fetched both of us to suntec.

in the end, the singapore conference hall wasn't at suntec but at

tanjong pagar. whadd a joke! queena gave us wrong directions. roar.

so jasmine and i took the train to tanjong pagar then we saw shahidah

[is it spelt like this?]

then walk together there lo. we were in sch skirt and class tee canns.

so ugly!

but we didn't mind la, we were dying of exhaustion already.

so the concert was quite okay - like whadd cann i say right?

-shrugs-

after that jas's dad fetched mee home. actuallie i wanted to take

train instead 'cause i'll reach home faster. hrmm.

`

today I gotta go to school from 1pm - 11pm 'cause there's gonna

be the chingay media preview tonight at 7pm. gotta have warmups,

a few rounds in our band uniforms and the dumbb vest & face mask.

it's gotta be so sweltering hot and i'm gonna bee so hungry, just like ernie.

ergg.

so dying already. *faint

i dunn wanna go and I'm probably the only person with the vest without

the maskss besides those who hasn't gotten their vests. yupps. i wana sleep.

*yawn

`

^press your belly button to self-destruct ...

ahh. fascinating. *wink

-yawn- feeling quite tired today. actually, i might as well say everyday 'cause i'm saying it everyday! heh. so bored out. there was band today. quite relaxed. we did music and two rounds of chingay parade for tomorrow's lunchtime concert. woots. budd it was so last minute. tomorrow i've also got to go for boon lay band concert. i'm so gonna fall asleep halfway. ergg. well, i'm too tired to blog much today. so tired. yuck yuck yuck. `madd

yesterday i didn't blog about the auditions specifically rights. i'm not planning to really you know, go in on all the details. hmm. for percussion, a whole load of kids, abt twenty wanted to join percussion and the lower brasses - empty! lol. to think that during the cca orientation, for the band booth, the percussion side of the booth was always empty but i think shikin impressed them with her skills huh? and she is a girl and the best jazz set player in the section and the drum majorette too. talk abt great! we split the sec ones into groups of 6-10 then 'auditioned' them. there were few good ones and the rest were lousy canns. -puke- i admit my strokes aren't that good. but last year there wasn't even audition, all the leftovers go to ensemble which includes me. ergifying. but seems like percussion is always the section that is the most difficult to enter. hee. there's one malay guy that is really good while i got a few girls which totally sucked. they refused to play 'cause they said they were scared and lousy. yes they are! why bother trying the insts when you're not gonna try it.. -yawn- when they finally did, they still sucked so it didn't make any difference. some were really keen to join the section but their strokes really sucked so i didn't have a choice but to fail them. oopsie. =p well it's fun having a little authority now. but you also get scolding at times laa. so not that gd anyways. today was such a boring day... ergifying. missed councillor meeting 'cause i got piano lesson. my first piece so sucked and ms koh was on the verge of killing mee in a fun way la. got ting xie, lit test and etc tomorrow. gotta study man!! -whistles- okay. i'm going off noww. bye

hillsongs.free
would you believe me if i said
that we are the ones who can make the change
in the world today
would you believe me if i said
that all of your dreams in your heart
can come true today
`
would you believe me if i said
that life could be all that you want it to be.
today
`
and if i had wings i would fly
'cause all that i need, You are
and if the world caved in around me
to You i'd still hold on
cause You're all that i believe
and the one that created me
JESUS.. because of You.. i'm FREE
`
would you believe me if i said
that God can make miracles happen today
would you believe me if i said
that you dont need to wait for the answers before
you step out in faith
would you believe me if i said
that nothing is ever IMPOSSIBLE
for God..
`
just live your life with God inside
you wont regret one moment of it
and give all that you can for God... for God
`
you know, i really love this song so much. it's like so true! LOVE IT! =) today had first band prac with the sec ones.. only sls and excos were supposed to come. the rest were just plain insignificant loe. but anyway, it was good laa? okay! gtg noww. -tired- byee!

hmm. am listening to some christian cd that's already in my cd player. -yawn- i'm so friggin' tired out. still stuck with my dumb total defence poster and english mindmap - actually i've finished the mindmap on storm. hee. the poster - ha! i know if i don't pass up tomorrow, mrs lim will so freak and start trying to make you feel guilty, as usual. i was just looking at phyllis's friendster pics. they're so adorable! esp. the neos of her and michelle. So sweet. they're like twiins! gee. just approved my testimonials too! i carnt stand it, do I really sound like lynette? -resigned frown- stacey, ernest, eric kong and etc. so said i sounded like lynette inclusive of actions. erg! i'm so losing myself!!! grr. =p you know i'm really getting to the limits by my mom, she is so annoying, it's not about me and my transition period okay? she spends her time insulting me whenever she's at home. i just dislike coming home now despite how tired i am, only when she's at home. it's like i thank god i have band and councillor meetings and all. i just really feel like i'm losing it at times. i wanna go out, have fun, forget about studying and all. it's just too stressful. whenever i speak the truth, my mom says i never say anything nice. that is so fine for me. she just expects me to be hypocritical right, or even a reflection of herself. i'm sorry man, i can't do that. tsk. i really am resigning to my cruel fate. -sigh-

`reality really bites man

i'm feeling so, so bushed.

went out today after school with ernie and jeralyn

we met at tp after school.

i spent my day talking so muchh rubbish

just to get the conversation going. erg.

we walked ard orchard/far east and etc.

we all spent money on food only

except for the birthday present, we didn't

buy anything... like whadd a waste! gee.

but it was fun laa. i so like prefer church people to go out with

than school peeps, which their town is like junction eight, like yuck,

don't they travel any further than that... how pissifyingg.

-puke-

okay. so we had fun laa. both of them were either

starving or thirsty... -tuts- i was the only one not getting

tempted by food or smth. okay! maybe the steamed tapioca and

the churros.. oopsie. =p. after that, went home about 6 plus,

reached home at 7.20pm. in the 73, i was so paiseh canns. I fell

asleep la and this lady sitting next to me, she was sitting inside wanted to come out

and then i was sleeping ma, she woke mee up ... erg, more like POKE mee up cann.

she poked me several times loes. ergifying. -griin- okay okay. I'm going off noww. byee.

went to church this morning

i mean, for sunday school first

i was lyke so late canns.

9.20am. i came with cheryl

and

she was so totallie complaining

about her being the only girl. heh

both of us were like wearing the same shirt

erg.

my mom was wearing the pink one

i was wearing the light blue one &

cheryl was wearing the green one

imagine if we took a pic

yuckks cann.

i'm like so peeved with jeralyn and yet so happy with her. heh

i amm going out with herr tomorrow. yeah!

orchard/bugis/somerset...

here we come!! heh

went shopping with clar and mum today

whoa! was spending money like crayzee

my cny clothes were so expensive -

i was so guilty. tsk.

i am so sounding like jeralyn.

whadd's with the tsk?!

i'm losing myself.

`loving it or losing it?

-grant mee peace-

woohoo!

yesterday was great!!!

we were having the time of our lives

that's what I can say..

Cheryl, Michelle and Jing Han so missed out

Hohoss. Despite my knee, I could play all the games

[thank god]

I had a blast with the youths yesterday, it was so, so fun! Well, we met at HarbourFront mrt at 12 yesterday and took our lunch at some food junction, I don't know what's the shopping centre called. Heh. Jeralyn and I sat with Thomas, Lynette, Jael and Jamin for lunch and Thomas was annoying mee to ashes!! I was like fainting from disgustedness, literally. His jokes were so lame, you didn't know whether to laugh or cry or you know, even show an expression. erg. whadd a pain. Then okay, after that we went to Cold Storage and bought water la. It was quite weird, Ps. Lindsey was so quiet throughout, maybe she's going through some problems? Okay, oh never mind. Then we headed to the bus interchange to take the shuttle service to sentosa. I was stuck standing next to Lynette and in front of me was Ernest la who was so annoying, when lynette was talking to me, he kept commenting that "hey, you sound like you're talking to yourself" and you know what? All I could do was scowl in frustration lol. Okay, not frustration ... but after that it just became a face of resignation. After we reached, we took the million year old tortoise aka monorail to Tanjong Beach. It was SO slow canns and the worst part is that we took one whole round 'cause there's no such thing as opposite direction. So we took from station M6 to M5. Oh yeah, Glenn kept sticking out his head out of the cabin and the shutter fell on his head, hohoho. It was damn funny. After that, he came out the next stop and changed to Jireh's cabin which was behind us. We were all falling asleep in there. -yawn- After we reached Ficus Station, I was so lazy to come out of the monorail .. erg. Okay. We walked for ten minutes to Tanjong Beach. Then the fun started! The first game ; you guess a number from 1-100 and you know slowly they'll 'eliminate' the numbers then the one who guesses the number will get poured with sea water by everyone. Haha. Timothy, Jeralyn, Yishun, Ernest, Christina and etc got drenched. Lol. It was quite amusing. Then next we played if I'm not wrong, Dog & Bone ... It was so funny! Watching them powder each other rather than take the bone was silly. I was laughing to my death! =) Rachel Wong was so cute can. She got powdered so much, she looked like an old woman. heh, and they said A-mei become A-ma. So mean! -chortle- Then it was touch rugby yep. So confusing! I was afraid to get touched man. I kept running backwards. I bet I looked silly! +) but it's okay. Then later we had the stupid frisbee game. I dunno what the heck is it called. Erg. It was so funny though. Then we had sandcastle competition. Grace's group won ... my group, lol, we had no ideas at all and nicholas kept insisting to use his 'leaf' idea. Oh gosh. Lynette and Kevin were like fainting. Lol. In the end, we stuck with a flower : idea taken from nicholas's leaf. hoho : okay. after that, everyone just watched the guys do flips in the water and later some people went to play volleyball and jeralyn and I sat in the "center" of the beach where the sand is very fine and we just sat there and so called tanned la. It worked a bit though. =) Lynette and the others went to swim later. Then after all the crapping around. Everyone went to bathe. I desperately needed the loo and the stupid toilet at Tanjong beach had no lock and it was all dark and wet. So Jeralyn and I tagged along with rachel wong, valencia, denise (is that how her name is spelt?) and ammy to the palawan beach toilet. It was so empty and good. Yupp! Later we all met everyone at the bus stop and took the bus to the visitor arrival area to watch the musical fountain.. but in the end we didn't watch 'cause it was so crowded and crap, they asked us to wait an hour for the next show, so we left to the arrival place again and took the harbourfront shuttle back to HarbourFront. Then we went to eat dinner. Some went to Yoshinoya and some went to Pastamania. I went to Pastamania! -slurp- Ammy, Denise and Jeralyn couldn't finish their spaghetti. I ended up eating a quarter of Jeralyn's share and Ernest, whoa, ate his pasta, brownie and ice cream, ammy's spaghetti and denise's spaghetti. Oh gosh. So piggified cannns!! And he wasn't full. I was SO appalled. Ammy kept saying what planet was Ernest and I were from to actually finish my spaghetti when the three of them couldn't. It was amusing, I was feeling kinda bloated after that. Erg. Went to mac after that to meet the rest then aft a while we all left. Took train back to Toa Payoh with Jamin, lyn, jeralyn and glenn. Glenn stopped at Braddell though. The rest, Christina took to Potong Pasir and the rest of the guys stayed at Dhoby Ghaut to if i'm not wrong play LAN or smthh along that line. Heh. Okay. What a long post. I spent an hour writing this. I think I'm not gonna be you know, blogging abt the last two days. Just that on Thursday I fell during PE. Erg. That's why the knee!

life is good

no matter what happens or has happened

i'm sorry to those i've hurt or annoyed

life isn't at all pleasant when you're

misunderstood.

but still,

life goes on.

=)

today, school was great! I was having fits of laughter every now and then. Haha, well, my blog is colourful, jamin is such a blurdo cann. omg. wahaha! jeralyn is so funny! sorry about not accompanying you during RR, you are so cute man. I just love my church friends! *muack*
I was so friggin' good today, well, i didn't have morning duty today. I was in a good mood today, trust mee, rachel and hwee en were nuts in class and I was actually 'entertaining' them, normally I just ignored their excessive lameness... hee. They are suchh sweet people! [see, i'm complimenting everyone! success, success, success!] Oh god, I am really in such a good mood, i'm becoming lame and crappy, uh oh! Anyway, as I was saying, I passed my spotcheck by Amabel/Emabel [forgot spelling] in the morning! She changed her glasses! Today, i kept 'meeting' Simone canns. And I saw her after recess, and I was without my hairband after selling ice cream. erg. So i kinda got 'caught'. My short skirt also got caught by her last week, she is such an eagle! I had to see the UIC after assembly la and I went there and this girl, called Bi Hui, she is a newbie from Ping Yi Military Band - like that is our 'enemy' .. but everyone knows they can't be a threat NOW, 'cause they are a newbie in the grand finals and deyi, tk and bowen hav always been there, i mean for at least 3 or more years la. She is a flautist and she is so ah lian-ish and rude cann. She looked me from head to toe and I was like making a face every now and then 'cause it's quite uncomfortable after a while. Hello? She was looking at mee like I was some vixen or some lousy band member, I'm like an NCO okay?!!! Okay. We had laughs in Mr Jo's lesson today, he like got angry la and his voice got all high and pitchyy and it was really amusing and Jasmine, who was like so rude, kept imitating him and I kept bursting out with laughter. After school, we had to stay back for band for a while, we were doing our chingay masks. It was fun. We had to stick loads of sequins on our mask and I got like SUCH AN UGLY colour, erg. It looked like it belonged to some cannibalistic tiki person. Hohos. My imagination is sure wild. I failed the mask twice by Yingmei, so I went to Chern Ron, haha, guys, they're not so particular about everything and actually he failed Jasmine then she whined then he said okay! Hohos. That scene was cute canns. After band, I walked with Sian Ying and Wen Theng to the bus stop and I took bus with Sian Ying laas. She was so cute and we were talking about Bi Hui la 'cause she had to teach her everything on all the band rules and the smooth dance steps. She was saying Ping Yi was so slack and all, they didn't call their seniors sir or mam, tt sorta thing. S. Y was saying that Jia Yi and her first impression of her was negative la. Same here! Anyway, so what about tt Bi Hui loe, Sian Ying is the upcoming flute SL okay... so she better not piss the members off, cause if not, she's gonna hav to live with us for another 3 years. Oh noo. Bwahahaha. Okay. I was sooo supposed to meet cheryl to go orchard to buy lyn's present and I was so late and I couldn't contact herr so in the end we didn't go. I so totally wanna smackk her face on friday! woots. sentosa outing with the youths on friday, actually I'm quite afraid of the games they're gonna play. whoa, whoa, whoa. Must be sporting. Anyway, if I'm not wrong, Bei Yu said that we hav to take the student leaders pledge tomorrow during assembly, ugh, I'm gonna be like SO stressed. Yawnns. Well. My brain is like still sleeping although I just took a nap. Had Lynette's b'day dinner just noww. Kinda nice. =) hrmm. be right backk!