Don't judge me tomorrow

By the way I'm actin' today

Mix the words up with the actions

~

You think that you know me

You think that I'm only

-excerpted from 'tangled up in me'

-skye sweetnam

today had band. i was so tired in the late afternoon segment! hey, carnt blame. i slept at like 1.30am. but anyway, it was quite relaxed today although we did a lot of running ard locations 'cause everywhere seemed to be unavailable except the netball court and the quad and it always rained halfway so we had to run in and out of the shade. there wasn't PT today like yeAH! we did formations today then i didn't have to do, i just stood up at the staircase to watch the formations take form. it's so cool. and imagine, the formation comm drew all tt and made the steps and everything possible (i'm part of the fc but i was sick and din come oops) it was so nice. my marching bell (also known as marching glockenspiel) was so heavy after a while and blahdyys. band ended early but beiyu, jasmine and i had to stay back and see weifong sir, coz he wanted us to write ensemble scores!! then nco meeting. we are upcomings. like yuack. i'm upcoming percussion sl with wen theng..
jasmine - secretary!
bei yu - treasurer!
xinru - trombone sl
farhana - french horn sl
the rest i'm not suree.. hee
^so stressed man. councillor - i don't even know whatt i'm supposed to do for orientation. wad class i'm taking.. etc. I"M LOST!.. HELP ME SOMEONE.

Outer Shell - written by jamin
Deep slience of a quiet mind,
Physically fit and outwardly fine.
Never could express the bottled fears,
Never to let go with broken tears.

Emotionless grins of an empty face,
Anger or joy could just take its place.
For the eye is weak and easily tricked,
For a smile can be just as easily faked.

Never judge a book by its cover,
for what is real is what is under.
Both laughter and tears can express fears,
What emotion comes when loneliness's here.

hello! today i spent my day from 1-7 out. i reached home at 7.20pm. it was fun, 'cept tt i was stuck with my mom. yay! my specs are done! i'm contemplating whether to wear it tomorrow for band. i'm just afraid if i wear the old one to band, when we pump then, you know, it will fall out then if i wear the new pair, i scared it will spoil while doing PT. *ponderss!* pt is quite violent - hoho. the new specs looks like it has a lot of surface area not covering my eyes but it is the same size as my previous one. it's nice and dark purple. hee =)
i just finished eating my magnum - yumm! - well. hmm, so i spent the day out. we went to portrait gallery first to return the graduation portraits because of defects so that we can get back a new one. the graduation photos are great and lyn's going to graduate in 2 years then they'll take another graduation photo. so nice although the mortar board makes everyone who wear it look bald - heh! - okay. then we took a bus to orchard then took train to city hall then took the free shuttle service to suntec city to make my specs and go eat .. hoho. we ate kenny rogers! how nice! there was no kopitiam or anything mahh. then my mom offered kenny rogers [coz she likes it] ... so we ate a quarter meal each at $13.90 [the offer not the meal] felt so full later.. *burpp* okay. tonight, hmm, i'm gonna slp at midnight 'cause tomorrow i've got band at 8.45am so gotta catch up on lost sleep already! tomorrows band is gonna be 9am-5pm, can die laa. okayy. gdd nightss now, maybe later i'll blog again. so watch out for mee!

you see, i nearly wake up every morning to smses. ugh. i'm tired you know.

so i woke up at 9.13am because of the sms.

after i replied, i was so tired

i just died out unknowingly.

later i woke up at 10.38am - my phone was blinking away

the next msg was received at 9.15am but i was asleep [remember?]

i'm normally not that porky and glutton-like

but hey, the holidays are going to be over...

gotta enjoy my heart's out now.

i didn't tell you about last night after the concert :

auntie dolly [aka ah boh] and uncle john brought us to eat

at chomp chomp [you know the semi-famous food centre at my house/stacey's house]

tell you what, i ate like a pig:

- 1 cup of sugar cane

- 1 and a 1/2 plates of carrot cake

- 3 chicken wings

that doesn't sound at all like piggish

but the way i ate was gross

hoho. i eat like a pig...

just that i don't look it.

aww, tt's too bad.

came back from meridien's junior college symphonic band concert

it was quite good and the members were colour coded according to section.

cool!

the saxes ; red

the trumpeters ; light pink

the trombonists ; gold

the clarinets ; purple

oboeists ; dark blue

the tubas ; lime green

the baritone saxes? ; hot pink

~

the tubees [tuba players] were so cute haha, during the intermission the girl player was funny.

she and her lime green tie. hoho. so amusing! in the morning i went to my school to buy books. yoho!

when i came down the bus, i saw nicholas eng cycling hoho! the sight was amusing! hoho. buy books, wrap some books. quite boring. hey!! they changed the school pe shorts to some black shitty tyng tt is so big. the size 34 [the smallest size] was like the length of bermudas! so lame! anyway, nearly everything was out of stock and i was quite pissed loess. it is annoying. 9 books out of stock.. why am i so unlucky? yahoo. i'm talking loads of crapp manx. haiz. bored to bits. no one's talking to me on msn except jamin. shawn not back from phuket yet. so quite bored out. [he's annoying but a source of entertainment.. hoho]

okay. bored out. *yawnns*

oh!

last night I slept at 3 am.. how ambitious!

hoho. and i was still feeling hyper at tt tyme

i was talking girly talk with my sis from 2-3

i was supposed to slp at 2.. whoops.

hmm, i dunno whyye i'm feeling quite pissed at everything now

don't pardon me 'cause you might be the one i'm pissed at

i think i know why i am pissed laa, but it's too personal

but also, i don't think it's tt.

see - i'm contradicting myself again.

anyway, lets not talk about unhappy stuff and move on.

2005 is coming in less than a week

and i totally can't wait for watchnight service.

hohos.

i haven't wrote my resolutions

normally i don't

but sunday school or royal rangers make me do it

so, i don't have much of a choice.

now i'm feeling so skeptical and i'm being plain r-u-d-e

to specifically certain people. hoho

i'm mean.

louisa, you're so louisa

and i love you!

heehee.. monologue-ing again.

-smiles-

now i'm happier than ever

was playing pool with jamin just now

oh come on, we were that bored. hoho

i have no idea why shawn's dad is delaying the flight by 2 days

omg. he watched the whole tsunami thing

and he's not afraid. i am for him.

so sorry.

i'm sorry to everyone, whoever i pissed

or scolded or misunderstood

or slammed down.

i'm sorry

-lowers chin-

i don't believe
why do i pretend nothing has happened
although alone i quietly cry
the painted scenes of happiness
are already torn apart
~
i still believe love is blind
no matter what will or has happened
people let themselves be manipulated
and some people just don't have the luck
~
so now i tell you
i don't believe in love
so don't come and comfort me
as my heart breaks into paper shreds
.louisa
`badly written poem

taken from the movie
"the phantom of the opera"
all i ask of you

No more talk of darkness
Forget these wide eyed fears
I'm here, nothing can harm you
My words will warm and calm you

Let me be your freedom
Let daylight dry your tears
I'm here, with you, beside you
To guard you and to guide you

Say you love me ev'ry waking moment
Turn my head with talk of summertime
Say you need me with you, now and always
Promise me that all you say is true
That's all I ask of you

Let me be your shelter
Let me be your light
You're safe, no one will find you
Your fears are far behind you

All I want is freedom
A world with no more night
And you, always beside me
To hold me and to hide me

And say you'll share with me
one love, one lifetime
Let me lead you from your solitude
Say you'll need me with you here, beside you
Anywhere you go, let me go too
Christine, thats all i ask of you

Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime
Say the word and I will follow you
Share each day with me, each night, each morning
Say you love me
(You know I do)
Love me
That's all I ask of you

Anywhere you go, let me go too
Love me
That's all I ask of you

i'm so bored

bored.bored.bored

i'm dyingg.

now i understand what thomas said :

he said something like my future boyfriend would suffer

because it's so difficult to amuse me.

he was at my house on the 25th and he was horrified

as my whole family, to be exact, my closest cousins - jonathan & joel

are soo r-u-d-e. haha. like we all poke fun at each other and at our own parents either.

cheryl said they were mean. hohos. but tt night, i could say was the least insulting night

ever! hoho.

*remains difficult to please

hohohohohoho

i personally find this so amusing!

pah! me difficult to amuse? [look above]

today was totally funn!

after service. we had dis sunday school thing.

so actually, we ponned royal rangers - ouch.

we went to watch the phantom of the opera

i chose it!

hohos. jh was really bitter about it at first,

cause she couldn't watch her doopied ocean's eleven/twelve [forgot title]

i was so set on watching phantom tt i din care

oh please, the other choice was kung fu hustle

which i think - is a complete waste of my money and time

don't you just agree? [guys probably don't ;) ]

i'm so happy! the show is soo great.

and i'm not so confused already, isn't tt great to hear, jeralyn and cheryl

hohos. - it's a private joke. *griins

the showw was totally great. i have the book.

now i just dunno where it is, i just saw it this morning though.

=)

okayy. my sis is chasing mee away 'cause she wants to use the comp

and i'm hindering her. my other comp's spoilt and i think it's my fault. ouchiesss!

hmm. stomachachee. ugh

okayy. byeee

good night

quote jinghan "smwahh x)"

24th dec

hoho. hii!

backk after a long time, literally.

went to ah boh's house and I was exclaiming everytime

that christmas has lost its glamour to jon and cheryl

they were so unhelpful - jon was complaining too

-about his own house party!!

annoying right?

cheryll was just being lame and being stupid.

we felt so totally dumb 'cause jon like invited his entire montfortian clan

[a.k.a. gay friends, mwahaha]

and joel invited 3 or 4 of his mj friends soo..

the study housed all the kidds and we couldn't get in!

andd we were being suchh idiots, you know the song item we were supposed to sing

i feel like smacking jonathan's face! i told him to prepare

two or more songs and he only prepared one so

we only sang one - erg.

then everyone asked for more - hoho *honoured*

so in the end we sang four songs:

`destiny's child - do you hear what i hear

`christmas is a time to love

`mariah carey - all i want for christmas is you &

mariah carey - jesus born on this day

~

it was really funn, although the atmosphere was badd

i mean, everybody feels quite lethargic - tt sorta thingg. *heh.

~

25th dec

went to churchh!! we were fifteen minutes early

thanks to lynette!

goodness. really. thank god.

when we came, the entire main sanctuary was full of old laddies & ladies

so we moved to the thirdd floor. there was, to our surprise, empty - hoho.

so we sat in the front roww. hohos again. jinghan was totally being a pain

just because i forgot to bring her present - ergo!!

*faiints

now i sound like jeralyn - oh no!

i lost my personality and style and uniqueness. ergo!!!

literally.

then we gave our presents aroundd after the service at the side hall.

funn to just stand there and collect presents, lol.

i mean, i do give people too laa. basically, exchanging gifts.

FUN.FUN.FUN

I woke up 50 mins ago. I was wrapping alvin's present just now. hmm. quote shawn "why spend two minutes wrapping a present and they just take 2 seconds to rip it open?" I totally agree laa. but at least better than him, he didn't even wrap anyone's present except the exchange gift for last night. hoho. jh got an evil present.. goodness! i was mortified and he was still acting like nothing happened. jh is less noisy now. [gives some encouragement to jh. =) ] last night, i was crazy, you can tell me tt again. i cried again, this time, for no reason that i know of laa - maybe i just dun wanna tell you, but i dunno myself. - i'm feeling quite giddy now. i have a sore throat and flu. erg. i dun even think i can sing for the christmas item at my aunt's house or at my own. ergo!! i'm dying already. stupid ernest go and curse me. *tumbles off chair* UGH!

*still on floor dying*

hoho.

hello! i just came back from our sunday school outing at 11.50pm! woots. i was so happy, i didn't even want to come home. [so true] but anyway, i don't want to come home everytime so tt doesn't make a difference huh? lols. yesterday i went out with cheryl and jeralyn to orchard. we walked around everywhere, buying nothing though. we went taka then, paragon then far east plaza. we met shawn and jamin at delifrance at paragon and they didn't know where was it (shawn to be exact bohoho.) okay, then yada yada, shopping til' 5.40pm. then when we were walking towards the mrt, we met christina, rachel wong and rachel liu. they were like terrorising all of us, literally laa. then we took mrt to marina bay, we were ten minutes late but there was not a soul [tt we knew] except michelle. she was so adorable, sitting there alone hoho. then we sat there was about half an hour to wait for the whole world to turn up then we walked towards the bus stop outside the mrt and took the shuttle bus to the steamboat place. we got an inside seat which totally sucked - everyone's smoke was blowing in our direction! everyone ate a lot, but jeralyn and I were not even quarter-full man!! shawn cooked everything for himself [doh] and a lot too was burned. whoops. lol. michelle was terrorising cheryl with her crude jokes. oh, then we had ice cream [comes together with the steamboat]. by that time, jinghan and constance left already. then michelle was making fun of her own ice cream - yuack. tt was totally gross, youu don't wanna know. =) - after the steamboat thing, we walked to the bowling alley to bowl laa [duh]. hey it's my first time bowling! woots. heh. i've been to a alley thrice or so already but never did i bowl laa. it was really fun. michelle slipped on the 'oily ball runway'. it was HILARIOUS! i never stopped hoho-ing. lols. then michelle was loser for both of the games. haha. it was really fun laa. tianle, jason and donovan din bowl, they went to the arcade la. hohoho.

i can't stand my mom! i was playing insaniquarium and she told me, dun play, i dun like. WHO THE HECK CARES WHETHER SHE LIKES IT OR NOT! goodness! She expects me to sit home and be stupid and retarded and just sit there and stare into space right? i might just do that man. then she'll regret it. YUACK. so strict. so controlled. sometimes i dun even want to come back after i shop, i'd rather go home with cheryl or something. erg.

michael buble - crazy little thing called love
This thing called love I just can't handle it
This thing called love I must get round to it
I ain't ready
Crazy little thing called love
`
This thing called love
It cries
In a cradle all night
It swings
It jives
It shakes all over like a jelly fish
I kinda like it
Crazy little thing called love
`
There goes my baby
She knows how to rock 'n' roll
She drives my crazy
She gives me hot and cold fever
Then she leaves me in a cool cool sweat
`
I gotta be cool, relaxed, get hip!
Get on my track
Take a back seat
Hitch hike
And take a long, long ride on my motor bike
Until I'm ready
Crazy little thing called love
`
There goes my baby
She knows how to rock 'n' roll
She drives my crazy
She gives me hot and cold fever
Then she leaves me in a cool cool sweat
`
Crazy little thing called love
Crazy little thing called love
Crazy little thing called love
Crazy little thing called love

hmm. I just woke up at 10.50am yah? then came online .. okay, dis is boring. everyday, the same thing happens. i think i'm gonna stone at home. ergo ergo ergo. haha. i'm listening to michael buble. last night, i fell aslp to summer wind by buble. haha. the cd is so nice. i stole it from my eld sis laas. her boyfriend i mean - whoops - heh heh. i'm so bored - so lazy - so tired of everything. oh forget it, as if you'll understand. you're just a digital unfeeling tyng. ugh
get outta my sight. bwahaha.

hmm, what a nice day today! I went out with my sister, cheryl, ernest, jamin and shawn. I was quite sure shawn was not supposed to be there as i was supposed to buy his present and *sighss so loudly* the two people whose presents are left are there. ergo. so i din buy anything la. we went to ps for half a day until 5pm - that was where, whoops, ernest shopped like a girl. haha. he was browsing everything, going into every shop. I nearly died frm walking around so meaninglessly. heh. me and cheryl were so lame, annoying each other and oh ya!
doopied shawn and jamin annoying us to death! they were making fun of my bell and cheryl's nose, but the nose was funny ya. haha. nose jokes - bwahahahaha. jinghan is backk. ergo again. i somehow dun miss her yakkiness. i seem to enjoy the silence. hehh. *no offence jh!* then we also went town. i dunno where but we took a bus somewhere. who knew where we went anyway, lyn n ernie were leading the way all the time. haha. so we were just like those stray dogss following along. then jamin n shawn saidd tt only lyn n ern were shopping yadayada*[classified information :) ] okay. we kinda agreed on it anyway. ok. so after town, it was about six laa. then we left and took train to toa payoh - all of us left the train except ernest *laughs bwahaha* then later we split, they went to their cell grp thingyy and we went to eat and lame ard - as usual. so that's it. byee.

`i love tt song below anyway!

michael buble - for once in my life
For once in my life
I've got someone who needs me
Someone I've needed so long
For once unafraid
I can go where life leads me
And somehow I know I'll be strong
.
For once I can touch
What my heart used to dream of
Long before I knew
Someone warm like you
Could make my dreams come true
.
For once in my life
I won't let sorrow hurt me
Not like it's hurt me before
For once I've got someone
I know won't desert me
'Cause I'm not alone anymore
.
For once I can say
This is mine, you can't take it
As long as I've got love I know I can make it
For once in my life
I've got someone who needs me
.
At least I can say
This is mine, you can't take it
As long as I've got love I know I can make it
For once in my life
I've got someone who needs me
For once in my life
I find someone
I've got someone who needs me

just woke up

to the sound of lynette's angry voice

on the phone.

my mum was on the line.

erg.

always gets us irritated huh?

i'm so mentally tired and I don't know why.

lyn was complaining and telling me tt she talked to ernest 'til 5.30am

Like it's my problem - bwahaha. =) fyne.

i should show some concern.

-bleagh-