120205 - fyf reunion dinner - jinghan, cheryl, michelle, jeralyn and me! see the steamboat? haha. looks somewhat gross. 

seeing everyone like this,

i almost want to cry.

it's so painful to see the ones around

have their long-time dreams shattered

*

`timetopickkupthepieces

*

i'm shocked.

quote shawn` god grant me strength to accept those things i can't change.

i really am so, so shocked.

it's almost like what i predicted was true.

and i regret saying it last time.

i heard it from many people too.

but i chose not to believe it..

unfortunately, my opinion also formed in that direction

and i ended up being part of them.

i'm so sorry.

-turn away

it sure seems like it was all my fault.

i feel like someone has just pierced the skin near my heart.

my stone cold heart.

ay.

i feel indefensible.

*

oh well, i've got to accept it.

now that i'm feeling less guilty.

i'm about to laugh real loud.

how over-the-edge you were.

when you merely were such a pea in other's eyes.

your ego's too big.

-for the idiot : t*ac*

*

today

280205

history was rather fun!

like since when have i found lim's lessons fun.

hoho. i question myself over that.

maybe 'cause i'm in a good mood.

a very good one.

:))

the o's came out today.

the results i mean.

that's not why i'm in a good mood. [duh]

i felt scared for those sec fours.

like i saw them after school at the canteen

gathered in groups, mostly from the same classes.

expectantly looking at the clock.

chatting, pondering what they would get,

some quietly thinking by themselves.

seeing that their dreams could very well be shattered.

i felt kinda pained.

yuppers.

*

i didn't eat dinner again.

'cause i took a nap. i carnt really eat after i've had a nap..

mm yeah.

i've got NO mood to blog at all.

just that i hate ms chua.

the stupid new teacher training with mr jo.

her methods are so kindergarten-like.

we felt insulted.

*

their pained fragile hearts.

ouchies.

let's say, it's rather pitiful huhs.

i give up laas.

*

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I'm about to DIE of laughter.

everytime i think about it,

i'm like spluttering saliva out

'cause i'm controlling myself frm laughing.

Ahh! Save me from my contagious laughter.

I'm so mean and cruel - I don't CARE!

Laughing at this is not funny.

Budd I carnt help it.

HOHOHOHO.

jinghan is so darn amusing!

*dies of laughter, tumbles off chair, whatever unfortunate thing else.

*

260205

fyf caregroup outing at nic's house.

mm. rather nice.

it was a long walk from tp interchange.

jerallyn was dying 'cause of her hurdle injury (thighs)

she kept holding onto me. ahahas.

after we reached there, the youths in front just disappeared so

only lyn, thomas, audrey, jingting, jinghan, jeralyn, cheryl and me

were left at the swimming pool.

the rest - god knows where they went!

was supposed to swim.

SO MANY girls got the problem

only few left ;

jingting, stacey, jeralyn and me.

jeralyn and me, well, can't swim to put it simply.

well, we do know how to but we forgot.

so let's just count it as no.

stacey was lounging on the chair.

while jingting was, i dunno doing what.

so only ernest, marcus, ian and thomas swam.

later after much annoyance 'cause no girl wanted to swim,

they went to the so called field to play the all-time fav game : captain's ball!

some captain's ball game they played huh.

it involved all sorts of balls.

dribbling, kicking, smacking like serving during tennis.

omg, don't remind me.

my group was like, i was so poor thing.

me.jingting.stacey.kevin.jael.lynette.ernest.

we had audrey at first.

my sis had to take her away.

so all my friends were in the other team.

jerallyn and i were laughing about the same thing.

pondering and observing.

it sure was interesting!

someone was SO busy flirting and flirting.

my head was getting dislodged from the intensity of it

-shudder

the game was funny.

although it's like ernest and kevin fell down.

and ernest kept getting hit by thomas's 'long shot' .. -.-

thomas was being so totallie LAME throughout the game.

not to mention, hitting people with his stupid long shots.

nearly hit me once budd i ducked.

hit jingting.

ay, i dunno whadd to say! hoho.

okay. after that we rested.

ate chips, drank stuff.

went up nic's house.

the guys. SO MEAN.

they like somehow started without cheryl, jer and me at the table

and they like didn't see us until thomas pointed at us.

ahahas.

kevin was sitting in front of the sushi plate.

like, we were surprised he didn't eat THAT much.

maybe he just ate more than anyone else huhs?

nyahahas.

the guys were practically swooning and drooling over the sushi.

goshh.

after that, errs, off we went.

my sis went home.

kevin went cartel?

cheryl, jerall and me went in search of a toilet at tp interchange.

all thanks to stupid cheryl

roar.

-hits cheryl's head with slipper

she dragged us around tp to find a toilet.

when we simply wanted to go to the one next to the interchange.

she and her bright ideas.

WOW. how nice.

after that we went j8.

went to look around.

browse.

we had no money okaes.

but i chose what i wanted to buy.

just need to find the time.

ahh.

okay.

i wanna go off noww.

go sleep.

ahh.

-takes pillow and covers face.

go awayy laas..

i gotta have my beauty sleep!

-CHORTLE

yesterday was nice :

250205

geog rocked.

we got back our test papers.

i was so totallie horrified with my results.

i got 11/20 - c5

I always got a1 like 15-20 that range one.

i'm like so annoyed with myself.

Not to mention, i had SO much corrections to do.

gWad.

okay. i didn't go band yesterday.

had some important matters to settle.

yeahhs.

so after settling my matters, i went to cut my hair.

that was a mistake. but it's still okay.

then after cutting my hair,

i went to meet cheryl,

we went tp,

chatted a lot.

sat in mos for like one and a half hours.

lyk amagad.

*

today! woke up so early - yuckks.

8.45a.m

I couldn't go back to sleep.

eh, i slept at one plus last night.

BEAT!

now my sisters and my mom is saying i look like edna mode from the incredibles.

ahh!

not to mention my old glasses looks like hers.

i tried it on, and really, i look like her.

OMG.

-flabbergasted-

nothing to say no more.

-yawn-

i hate this.

*

and i see you standing there

wanting more from me

and all i can do is try

and i see you standing there

wanting more from me

and all i can do is try.

nellyfurtado.try

excerpt

i end with this songg.

nellyfurtado.try

All I know

Is everything is not as it's sold

but the more I grow the less I know

And I have lived so many lives

Though I'm not old

And the more I see, the less I grow

The fewer the seeds the more I sow

Then I see you standing there

Wanting more from me

And all I can do is try

Then I see you standing there

Wanting more from me

And all I can do is try

I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness

And all the real people are really not real at all

The more I learn the more I cry

As I say goodbye to the way of life

I thought I had designed for me

Then I see you standing there

Wanting more from me

And all I can do is try

Then I see you standing there

I'm all I'll ever be

But all I can do is try

Try

All of the moments that already passed

We'll try to go back and make them last

All of the things we want each other to be

We never will be

And that's wonderful, and that's life

And that's you, baby

This is me, baby

And we are, we are, we are, we are

FreeIn our love

We are free in our love

i chopped off my hair.

that's really nice.

it looks weird somehow.

but it looks fine when i wear a hairband..

yupps - permanent hair solution til hair grows backk, ugh.

:))

yawn.

i'm always so tired in school,

carnt help it manns.

i was looking forward to going out later in the day -

surprisingly, there was no councillor meeting.

like if there was, it would be so annoying and

totally spoil my day.

i went out with dearest jeralyn.

for the first time, i didn't have to wait half an hour for her.

thank god -claps hand

so we went from tp to somerset,

where we went from shop to shop, browsing loads.

we are like spendthrifts. eh no, she's a spendthrift!

hohoho.

i mean, we can spend like 50 bucks in like an hour?

what more five hours? amagadd. lol

okay, okay.. that is just the limit laas.

we went cine to look at her bag.

she spent like half an hour looking at the same clump of bags.

seriously, they looked so alike... except that some had those ugly chain thingys.

erg. *sticks out tongue

so she bought this greyish one.

and you know what, she saw the one that she planned to buy at far east - three hours later.

ouchh. she felt so pissed with herself.

like i said, wait until you find the one that you really wanted.

she didn't want to and i didn't want to too.

like if i allowed, and she didn't find it at far east,

we have to walk cine to far east and then

far east back to cine just to buy the bag. ah!

that would be such a nightmare

*covers face in agony

so later we went to long john's to eat.

i didn't eat, just stole fries from her food.

only drank ice lemon tea. :))

after that, we left cine and went to heeren.

walked for a long time in heeren.

and i'm gonna buy a wallet from the wallet shop.

it's twenty three.

i mean, ya, it's expensive.

but i thought i'll buy an expensive one and use it for a long time.

yeah, how long's my long?

i have no idea. hoho.

bought this thingy for lyn and i just now - five dollars.

ugg, and i'm like paying for it. tsk tsk.

okay. er.

walked around taka, wisma.

yepps.

then jeralyn realized she was late for her reunion dinner.

uh oh!

she was already fifteen minutes late laas.

so we quickly went to the mrt and took the train down to tp.

then i waited with her for 155 until the bus almost came.

then i went off to take 73.

see i'm such a nice friend, always sending people off.

and unfortunately, no one sends me!

ahh!

what friends do I have?

-questions herself

-answers

those that can't bear to sacrifice as they're far too selfish.

yeah.

i get the point.

ahaha.

joking! [but i mean it at certain points.]

tsk tsk tsk.

hee.

`hyper&turnedinsideout.

jeralyn and cheryl - cheryl's lost in the pic 

michelle - somehow flabbergasted louisa - totally ignorant 

look at jeralyn! she and her stupid flower! to think michelle left cheryl's and mine on the sofa - roar! 

michelle and i - aunt and niece. looking dull! 

michelle and i - the supposedly spastic effect. i look lame! 

jeralyn and i - how come we're so far apart? -questions 

me being annoying! -- holding jinghan's rose (and killing it, although it's made of paper) 

jinghan and i - woot.  

cheryl, jeralyn and i - shaw plaza mac's 

i felt so heavy-hearted in the morning.

trust me, i was dying of everything.

i've been so easily irritated this few days.

i don't know why. tsk.

though people like ray etc. deserve being yelled at,

i don't suppose i want to do that.

it's simply so mean.

i've got the right during band to scold anyone,

esp. in the percussion section.

-hint-

people like ray - watch out!

ah, how nice.

hohoho.

*

common tests.common tests. common tests.

test.test.test.test.test.tested.

maths. geography. music.

-sigh-

whoa. had geog, maths and music test today. ughh.

i think i'm so gonna flunk maths.

i'm still so annoyed that i can't remember a thing.

i think i need to go back to miss chan for 'lessons'.

who cares about mr jo anyway.

i can't be bothered to bitch about him anymore.

seems so pointless. like it's gonna change anything.

pah.

geog test was kinda okay. except that the mcq were kinda tricky!

miss rachael is so smart to give us those questions.

seemed like the second section was simpler than the mcq.

well, to summarise, the mcq was simple but it'll make you keep doubting your answers.

and then you'll keep looking at it, over and over again.

you get the feeling?

music test! oh, the one about the orchestra blah. it's rather simple..

to add to it, i've got a piano grade and not to mention i'm in band.

jasmine, hwee en, beiyu and i were feeling like it was peanuts to us.

-waves at crowd, bhb-

note: bhb is buay hiao bai.

the only one which got us thinking was the position of all the sections in the orchestra.

well, but i learnt that just in the five minutes she gave before the test hoho.

i'm positive i'm gonna get a1, maybe full marks if i don't get the orchestra seating

arrangement wrong! woot!

i was falling asleep in class today. -yawn-

esp during maths.

i told you, i always tend to fall asleep in maths test only. that explains the red marks on my paper. -sigh-

okay. band was okaayyy today.

sec one band. ugh!

whoaa. but today was rather fun and i'm glad i went.

although i'm still really tired.

i didn't really do strokes nor help liyana teach the juniors.

i was playing my bell at the staircase and danial was playing tom there too.

hoho.

sermin - olgc girl

she's in band! her sister is MABEL! amagadd!!

it's like mabel is huimin's sl.

huimin's my sl.

and huimin has always had good stuff to say all about her.

i've never seen her before but anyway, she sounds really funny! haha!

mabel was a bell player - my ancestor!

[hey, she isn't dead yet! -monologue-]

sermin is gonna join percussion.

she was a ex-choir member but not syf choir laas.

so it's really funny.

the school choir is the lousy one. bwahahas.

i mean in ij-olgc. ha.

she can be a really good snare drummer.

definitely.

i think her whole family has the gift of the sticking stuff.

mabel was a really good bell player & organist.

she's an organist too. but stopped at 9B.

so rather pathetic.

and she carn't sightread!

i was testing her with jasmine.

she doesn't know her c, d, e, f, g, a, b, c ...

she just knows her do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti, do

gWad.

but anyway, she learnt what we taught the sec ones in three weeks in five minutes.

not to mention, she is the best among the new sec ones -

including the stupid china ex-drummer. yuckks.

although we tested her separately, we can tell!

she immediately got the point of everything.

like how do you hold your sticks in the traditional way.

she is probably the only one besides afiqah who can hold the stick properly and play.

sri-whatever just drops the stick onto the drum everytime.

leon is fine.

jie yu (china pig) is a show-off.

i just hate that face. -piak

i remember the auditions.

twenty overs wanted to join percussion.

i hated those that were showing off but couldn't play.

they failed anyway.

they were so friggin' proud and overconfident that they would get in.

i feel like smacking this piece of information that is reality that:

if you can't play,

can't pass the auditions,

you don't have to say anything to redeem your unfortunate failure,

you're just out.

-kick

*

woot. that's really nice. my stomach kinda hurts.

i'm not hungry.

i didn't eat my dinner.

but it still hurts.

odd.

ah, whatever.

i'm gonna find food...

`lardeedahh

just chatted with wan fong online.

i love her loadds man!

she is totally going through whatever i'm going through now!

and we were complaining about insulting people and also

saying how good and privileged it was.

woots.

quote wf` the only person who hates her school as much as i do

high five man!

like finally. i'm going to say that again.

the only person who hates her school as much as i do.

YEAH.

noww she's gotta study. uhh.

aye. will talk to her again.

btw, wan fong is my primary school friend.

Hold on to our dream
Taken off the IJ Share the Love Album
BY Julie Sim and Trevor Nerva
for CHIJ Schools Singapore
*
IJ Spirit burning bright
Fill this world with love and light
Light that shines for all to see
Love that sets our spirit free
.
IJ friendships through the years
Born of simple joys and tears
Something tells us deep inside
IJ friends are friends for life
.
Hold on to our dream of peace
Don't stop believing
Our hearts and hands, ever seeking, ever serving
Hold on to the sound
Of our friends all joyously singing
Our voices raised to the Lord our God aboe
Hold on to our dream
.
IJ Spirit burning bright
Fill our hearts with love and light
Light to see ourselves anew
Love begins with me and you
.
IJ voices ringing true
Reaching out and breaking through
Every heart will hear our call
Share our dream of peace for all
.
Hold on to our dream, hold fast to the IJ dream
Hold on to our dream
*
Jasmine and i were singing this song today. It is simply just so meaningful. Sounds a little spastic here and there. But if you were one of us, you will understand the kind of attachment you feel to IJ schools once you've spent your education years there.
I love the IJ Family.

lazy to blog about chingay.
but all i have to say it's so FUN!
i mean, although my shoulders were dying
from the weight of my bell and all.
we had to wave and smile at everyone
ugh. but i really felt ultimate happiness at that point of time.
it is just the feeling of sheer freedom.
like i said.
ultimate strangulation & ultimate pain. but also.
ultimate satisfaction and accomplishment.
i love myself.
i love chingay.
i love my perseverance.
it's so unbelievable.
*
am i going to give up everything i've just received
away, to somebody i don't want to give it to?
for my happiness, i have to.
for my pride of my school
i have to.
do i?

jerallyn, michelle and ii - and not to mention, the stupid ribena cup!